Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My Day In A Nutshell

This is pretty much my entire day encapsulated into one run-on sentence.

La la la, having a good day, did something good, oh look a seagull employee just crapped all over me and now I have to deal with drama, so let me try this 5-hour energy stuff at 3pm because I'm very tired of dealing with work and want to feel invigorated and focused just like the commercial... gulp... why, that's strange, it seems to have the exact opposite affect on me and I couldn't totally fall asleep sitting up, which is unfortunate because now it's time for me to go home and there's my husband, all three of my dogs and why does one dog have blood smeared all over her face, oh whew its just the remains of an eviscerated baby bird that my husband now tells me he placed on the back stair rail, ew, seriously, oh look, the dead baby bird is gone, where could it be, perhaps a chupacabra carted it off in the 10 minutes he was inside, oh no, here it is in the yard so let me pick it up with a plastic bag and heave its lifeless body over the fence because now I have to go walk each dog individually on a leash to do their business because we have baby blue jays that are too stupid to wait until the carnivore isn't sitting under their nest with their mouths open before launching themselves to certain doom as my husband happily yells good-bye because he's escaping to a motorcycle club meeting leaving me to walk each dog and then chase Meeshka through the house with a washcloth to wipe the blood from her fur as the idiot neighbors start shooting off fireworks, and then in her friskiness, Meeshka runs full tilt into the back of my leg and clawed my ankle to shreds, and that's when I made a BLT and thought... it's only Wednesday.