Sunday, January 22, 2012

Tacos with Lobsterman

We had tacos the other day, and Lobsterman was complaining about how difficult it was to apply sour cream to a taco shell.

LM: We need something to apply sour cream to a taco shell... like a caulk gun.

Me: We have a caulk gun downstairs, want me to get it?

LM: Well, it would be perfect, but you would probably put caulk in it and then I'd put it all over my tacos and nothing good could come of that.

First of all, I have NEVER put caulk in the sour cream container, so I'm a bit perturbed that he would think that I would put caulk in the sour cream caulk gun. 

First of all, if you refrigerate caulk, it would probably turn rock hard and be impossible to dispense. 

Secondly, if he went and got a caulk gun out of the downstairs mish mash of tools in the big bag of tools and used it when he KNOWS that sour cream needs to be refrigerated, then that's his own damn fault.

The next thing he wants is a drill for his pepper grinder... because twisting the little grinder takes too much time.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Cuisenart Keurig Coffee Maker - Updated

1/18/2012 - This post has been updated at the bottom

Ok, much like the Toro Lawnmower, my Cuisenart Keurig Coffee Maker (SS-700) was about to be beaten with hammer.


This was a shame, since I've done nothing but brag and boast and convince all of my friends to go buy one or else they were losers and wannabes.  I'd feel really bad about shaming them into getting one of these and then admitting that it sucks after about a year.  Blowing $200 on a coffee maker just to be as cool as me is a lot to demand of your friends, especially if they read about how I'm now beating it with a hammer...

The problem started a few weeks ago when it started dispensing coffee slower than an old guy with prostate problems taking a pee, and wheezed more than I did when climbing stairs.

Ok, whatever, I can plop a k-cup in there, hit the button and go brush my teeth while it brews... disappointing that it was acting like that, but manageable because it was still giving me the 12 ounces it said it would.

The last straw started yesterday when Lobsterman reported that it was piddling out only 4 ounces of coffee at the rate of a catheterized old man.  This will not do.

I did the whole troubleshooting tasks that you can find on the Cuisenart site.  Poking a paperclip in the punch thing to make sure it wasn't clogged.  Making sure the plastic dispenser bottom wasn't clogged, and going through the rinse, drain air bubble exercise... to no avail.

Armed with the hammer, I gave Cuisenart a call and spoke to a nice guy named Adam, who chuckled when I told him I was about to beat it with a hammer.  He asked if I had run through the gamut of troubleshooting... yes.  I described the problem and he was more than happy to replace the product (I really like hearing a company say that... we will replace your product if the next procedure doesn't work... more companies need to start off their support calls with those words), if the next procedure didn't work.

Apparently the internal hose gets air bubbles in it and its kinda pesky getting them out, so here's what you need to try:


Remove the water container, and see the hole where the water gets sucked into?  You need to pour a water in that hole until its overflowing


Then sit the container back on there, put a k-cup in and make a cup of coffee.  It will probably piddle and drip like usual, that's expected.  When its done piddling and dripping, unplug the machine, remove the water container, pour more water in there if it isn't overflowing.  Plug the machine in, turn it on and run another k-cup cycle.  Keep doing that.  Adam said that if it doesn't clear up after 7 runs, then call them back and they'll replace it.

In my case, 4 times was a charm, and its back to brewing a full 12 ounces with a stronger stream.

So, I put the hammer away... for now.  Its nice to know that Cuisenart has your back if your expensive brewer goes belly up.  Kudos to Cuisnart!

Update 1/18/2012

The "fix" lasted all of 4 cups before it started pulling the same crap as before and got worse and worse until it would only brew a piddly little bit of coffee.

That was the last straw and I called Cuisenart AGAIN and they said they would ship me a new one.  I could have returned the product to a retailer, but opted to pay for the shipping back to them.  They charged me a $10 fee (who knows) and said I would get it in 7-10 days... ugh!  We limped along on the totally crapping out coffee maker until this morning.

This morning, something very odd happened... it worked normally!  I got a full cup, it sounded normal, everything was fine.  Lobsterman reported that it continued to work flawlessly throughout the day... and then the mail came and we figured out why it was working... its replacement was delivered.

We aren't falling for its tricks... back it goes!!!!