Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dear Mars corporation,


I'm writing to you in regard to your recent decision to stop producing king sized bars of chocolate.

As a consumer, I want gigantic bars of chocolate.  I've noticed, with much disdain, as chocolate bars have gotten smaller through the years while the price remains the same or increases.  We've noticed it, you didn't fool us for one second.  We're not stupid... But apparently you agree with the government and do think we are stupid.  We're so stupid that we just buy as many king sized bars of chocolate and shove them into our mouths until we're so fat that fire men have to use a crane to remove us from our houses.  We are so stupid that we could never figure out that when king sized chocolate bars are no longer available, we can just buy two candy bars and shove them into our mouths and bloat up to the size of small sheds.  The only people who are hurt by this move are the poor.  Why do you hate the poor?  The poor should be able to weigh 500lbs if they want, it's their right to be obese.  Why should only rich people be able to waddle into a store and drive those carts around stocking that little attached basket with mounds of chocolate?


From a person that has a retirement plan that most likely has your stock in my portfolio, I have to say: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS?

If you had announced that you were ceasing the production of the king sized bars because people are more health conscious and aren't buying as many, therefore it is not profitable to make them anymore, I'd applaud your shrewd business savvy.   But your excuse for discontinuing them is because you claim that "Mars has a broad-based commitment to health and nutrition, and this includes a number of global initiatives,"  HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!  Seriously?  YOU MAKE CANDY!!!


You aren't a health department.
You aren't in the business to make people healthy
You make chocolate, good chocolate, tasty chocolate, and to keep your consumers and share holders happy
AND NONE OF US ARE HAPPY!

Make good candy, make good profits, and flourish, because when it's time to bail your sorry asses out, there won't be any money left, and we’ll all be eating Hershey's.

2 comments:

Simba said...

We had not known that was their excuse/reason for the smaller bars. How ridiculous, really. Great post. (says Mom: we cats don't actually ever get to have chocolate).

Huffle Mawson said...

Pffft. Amazing how the chocolate bars get smaller and yet cost more. I've noticed it over the past few years too.

p.s. the word verification thingy? The new version is a PAIN IN THE ASS. Just so you know.