Sunday, July 03, 2011

Of Fireworks and Thunder

Don't get me wrong, I love Independence Day, its the idiot neighbors who purchase all manner of armaments (illegal in the state of Merryland) that set them off for weeks before and after that I'm not too crazy about... because we have a 70lb dog that totally freaks out over loud noises.

Close proximity fireworks and thunder are not our friends.  At the first sign of either, we have a panting, stomping, clawing  nutcase husky on our hands.  Since both activities (fireworks and thunderstorms) generally occur at night... we don't get a lot of sleep.  While I can't control the weather (and neither can Al Gore), I simply curse the fact that thunderstorms happen a lot at night, but I do curse, and threaten bodily harm and the full force of the law on the neighbors... in my head, of course.  Because we're pretty much Libertarian, its still a free country, and what kind of morons would we be to celebrate Independence by calling the authorities on someone practicing a form of freedom.

To prepare for the onslaught of fireworks, we sought the big guns.  Rescue Remedy.  Touted as the cure for neurosis of all manner, and proven to work as friends from all over the world have experienced its amazing properties to naturally calm and mellow up the most phobic pet, we found a bountiful of the product at the local Whole Foods store.  Armed with three boxes, we were hopeful.

Around dusk last night, the joyful citizenry began setting off their fireworks, and we dispensed the required 4 drops for Meeshka (70lb razor sharp clawer and main freaking dog), and Loki (65lb cowering, trembling in fear drooling dog) and crossed our fingers.

In general, Loki looked as though he had drank way too much and sat drooling slightly next to us with a glazed look in his eyes.  Meeshka settled on an air vent.  This was GREAT!  It seemed that we had found a solution for sleepless nights and rude awakenings.

Then the idiot neighbors started shooting off their mortars at 10 pm.  This is when we discovered that the mellowing affects of Rescue Remedy could not overcome the sound of someone shooting off large explosives less than a block away.  Frankly I was tempted to drink some.

Since there would be no sleep for us, even after giving her another dose (Loki continued to stare at a wall and drool, totally oblivious to everything), we went out on the deck to at least watch the neighbor's display of weaponry.

I truly don''t wish ill on anyone, but there was a a moment of guilty glee when one of the mortar rounds skipped sideways across the ground (an obvious tube malfunction), and exploded most likely right next to his neighbor's house, and probably right next to all of his cars in the driveway.  We resisted the urge to applaud.  There didn't seem to be any running around or movement to suggest a major fire, damage, or loss of limbs (unfortunately for our entertainment value), but it did put a rather sudden stop on the fireworks display for the night.

We were able to go to sleep without further interruption... until 4am (which is when I'm writing this) when the very large thunderstorm came crashing down upon us along with the 70lb panting, clawing husky.

More rescue remedy taking just a small edge off the panting and clawing, and I sit here waiting for either Lobsterman to get up and be the object of her clawing, or the storm passes.

I will be napping today... despite storms and fireworks, I'll sleep under the bed if I have to... seriously.