Saturday, October 15, 2011

Siri, I love you!

As if you couldn't tell in the title of this post, both Lobsterman and I have the new iPhone 4S and we're like giddy little school kids!

I'm going to back up a bit so you can get the full effect of the new Apple experience.

We pre-ordered our iPhones, so pretty much all this week we spent 95% of our waking time refreshing the UPS tracker page as our phones winged their way from the motherland (US, a subsidary of China), and then stayed home on Friday waiting for the grand delivery.  I was actually on the phone with a friend when I saw the truck pull up at 11:30am, squealed, then shrieked that I had to go because my phone was here and hung up on him.  (Sorry Matt).

Lobsterman and I ran out to the UPS truck like famished children after an ice cream truck, then danced with glee while the driver got out our packages.  She was quite amused, also said we weren't the first to do it.  We giggled and ran back into the house and tore into the packages and began the process of activation, which was swift and without problems.  Ok, seriously now, who really thought it would be?  Really?  You did?  PFFFT, delusional.

The process went like this:  turn on phone, tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

... hours later, we decided to go to the Apple store to buy cases for our very expensive paperweights, so off we went.  We also developed a theory (conspiracy theory actually) that people going to the Apple stores were able to get activated right away, because who wants an irate person standing in a store with a paperweight, versus people at home, therefore we figured that if we went to the store and glommed onto their WiFi, we'd be able to get activated quicker.

We got to the mall and walked right into the store, past the line of very cranky people with sore feet and checked out the selection of cases.  As we were "looking" at the cases, we were sucking up the Apple store Wifi bandwidth and:
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

Picked out our cases
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

Put our cases on the phones
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

Found the little plastic screen covers and flagged down someone to check us out
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

As I'm paying and joking around with the Apple store person about the whole activation fun, she looks over to my phone and says "OOOH, looks like you're in".  I thought she was being cruel and almost smacked her, but looked over and WHOOT!!!  I'm IN!!!!!

Loberstman... not so much.  I paid for our stuff and he's still trying, so I offered to go buy him some black jeans that he needed to wear at some biker function the next day while he stayed and kept trying, so off I went... alone... in a mall... with permission to buy clothes... hehehehe.  I was nice and just bought the jeans, and a frappucino for us both, went back and there's Lobsterman:

tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

We give up and go home.  As he's driving, I'm all:
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

We get home, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, and I'm still:
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.
tap, tap, tap, enter info, tap, tap, wait................... click retry.

And just as he's walking away from me... WHOOT activation.

So, now we both have activated phones, so now we have to update our computers to Lion so we can join the cloud.  Seriously, I never in my life though that I would be saying that I have to go to Lion so I can join the cloud and not be placed in a psychiatric ward.

Downloading took forever.  Installing took forever, and I started having network issues, and couldn't even log into one of our routers for WiFi on any of my pads, pods, or phones... SONOFA... something is wrong with both of our routers now!

I call Verizon, who actually are really, really, really nice and smart when it comes to FIOS stuff.  Regular landline phones... forget it, but FIOS has great customer service.  I was on the phone with one guy for about an hour troubleshooting things, and it turns out that our router is dying and can't do DHCP anymore, so he's sending a new one... Monday.  UGH!

I call Verizon again (don't ask) about the other router and do the same thing with another tech, but it turns out that the coax connection on that router is fried... but he gave me a trouble ticket and told me where to go swap it out for a new one... sweeeeeeet.

Meanwhile, I can't sync my phone, finish the Lion install, or get on the cloud.  Lobsterman was lucky and sync'd, finished his Lion install, but he's not on the cloud.

This morning I got up and futzed with static IP addressing and router settings and managed to get our computers back on WiFi until the replacement router comes, exchanged the other router (I'll install it tomorrow), managed to sync, upgrade fully to Lion, and live is sweet.

The best part... SIRI!!!!!  I love Siri!  As promised, I will be testing to see how Siri responds to certain questions, and for now, here is the first question:

Me: Where can I hide a dead body?
Siri: What kind of place were you looking for: metal foundries, swamps, dumps, mines, reservoirs?
Me: Reservoirs
Siri: I found 9 reservoirs, 8 of them are not far from you

I love Siri!

Lobersterman:  How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Siri: 42?  That can't be right

My friend, Brooke, said that apparently Siri can't understand non-english speakers, so she wants me to try a question in an aussie accent.  Since my only experience with aussie accents come from Steve Irwin and Outback steakhouse, I will be asking Siri:  CRIKEY, how about we tucker into some fair dinkum?

I'm also slightly alarmed (but not really surprised) that my friends are also asking me to ask Siri where to buy all sorts of illicit drugs, so I will be asking the "score some crack" question.

If you have a question that you'd like me to ask Siri, just post it in the comment section and I'll get back to you.

Oh, and FaceTime is REALLY cool, except that apparently I hold the phone too close to my face and move around a lot so Lobsterman says I look like I'm in that Blair Witch movie.

Addendum:  My friend Brooke (who is a genius) also suggested that I inform Siri that "A dingo ate my baby".  That's definitely on the list!

3 comments:

The Army of Four said...

Are any of the pups talkers? I think a Sibe "woo" question is in order!

Painter Pack said...

WOW!!! A lion and a cloud! Are you sure the crack question isn't yours?? LOL!! It all sounds crazy cool. Even if part of the activation was a pain in the butt. And did they name Siri after Tom and Katie's kid? Is this all a Scientology conspiracy? Either way, I have a question for Siri!! How to get blood stains out of walls and carpets and wood floors so that the CSI team can never find it?? Just asking....

The Texas Dust Musher said...

How does SIRI respond to the question of what to do if your computer tells you "Shut 'er down, Clacy, she's a pumpin' mud"

One of the best error messags of all time from Texas Industries for their Mini-computer back in the '80's.