Friday, September 09, 2011

Staycation Day 7

When we last left off, I was preparing to go to the doctor for my wonderful annual exam fun-fest
I was semi-disappointed that there were no photo worthy scenes of flooding, chaos, or mayhem
Oopsies
I arrived early, which meant slogging through the articles in really old Vanity Fair magazines (which apparently are now 99.9% advertising, and apparently the "IN" thing is ads with guys who look like they need showers wearing suits and holding women's handbags), and playing Angry Birds until it was my turn.  It was while I waited that I came upon a brilliant idea:  If you pay for the ultra mega-mega high end insurance, you should be taken into a room promptly at your appointment time and be seen while those who don't pay the ultra mega-mega high end insurance sit in the waiting room wearing a paper gown with their privates hanging out until my appointment is done.  I'm just saying.

I love my doctor.  She has a good sense of humor and doesn't nag me about stuff.  She half-heartedly tried to get me to commit to quitting smoking (I've tried Chantix, the patch, the lozenges, cold turkey, and every other route and for the safety of all citizens, its best that I just keep smoking... because you don't want homicidal me stalking the streets jonesing for a smoke). 

She said "Can you just commit to quitting by next year?"  I told her "well, I could lie to you and say "sure" just to get you off my back, but then when I came in here next year still smoking, it would make you feel as though you failed, so for the good of your self esteem, I'm not going to lie to you".  See, I'm a giver, I care!

She then picked the MOST inopportune time to ask: "If there was one medical thing you could change or fix in your life, what would it be?"  I told her the most obvious thing: "That I wouldn't need to have people sticking their fingers where they don't belong once a year." 

I did ask if there was anything that would keep my eyes from watering when I talk.  Its a very annoying thing related to my Maryland allergies.  I'm pretty tired of talking to people and looking like I'm weeping uncontrollably while discussing mundane things like grammar.  She prescribed some flonase and eye drops... but no Xanax (of course).

After getting my referrals and blood work paper, where I need to fast then go for blood (which I typically lose about a week after my appointment), I raced off to get my hair cut.

Normally I go to a fancy spa and get my hair cut by Katie (who is amazing and wonderful, but expensive) and all I really wanted was to even things out a bit so I could grow it through the winter... and I didn't see paying big bucks for that, so I went to Hair Cuttery.  The stylist did a good job, and I got it blowed dried, only because I like to see how they envision me wearing my hair, and because it will be the ONLY time it will look like its suppose to.  I have a distinct lack of will to actually "style" hair in the morning, and generally the goal is getting it dry and not sticking out in 14 different directions, although most of the time that last goal is not met.

After the haircut, it was Starbucks for a latte and some sitting outside relaxing, sipping latte while it rained and rained and rained and every person passing by telling me that they were sick of rain (random, strange people always tend to feel comfortable telling me things... as you will see in a minute).  I sat there for about a half hour reading the facebook page of our counties breaking stories, and watching as each minute a driver decided to self destruct on the roads somewhere.

Before rush hour got started (maximum carnage) I journeyed over the CVS to pick up my prescriptions... except they weren't ready yet.  Apparently my healthcare doesn't cover prescriptions, they're covered under a separate plan that I should have had a card for, but couldn't find the 14 times I looked through my billfold, but then found on the 15th time, and then I had to wait for them to fill the prescription... which consisted of 2 prepackaged boxes of nose spray and eye drops... that's a toughie. 

As I was standing there waiting... a person was talking and it took me a moment to realize that she was talking to me, and holding something out for me to see.  It was some glucose meter for kids that included a fun game... although I'm pretty sure that's a ghoulish concept: stab yourself and get points or something.  She rambled on for about 10 minutes about her life, her kids, blah blah blah, then just stopped talking and wandered off in the middle of the sentence.  Luckily my stuff was ready, so I grabbed it and ran home.

The rest of the night was spent lounging, watching tv, more angry birds, playing with the pups (who are 99.9% covered in rain, mud, and have grub breath), then went to bed and watched "scared straight" because I like watching kids get threatened by inmates.

Tomorrow you'll get to hear just how inept I am about putting drops in my eyes.

2 comments:

Huffle Mawson said...

Oh boy. Can't wait for tomorrow!

Franki V said...

Grub breath sounds so cool. When my human is out and about she also attracts stream of consciousness conversationalists. What is the deal with that?