Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Taunting Telemarketers (Part 386)

Actual telemarketer call

6pm, while I'm chopping up veggies for fajitas, the phone rings, and rings, and rings, and rings, I finally answer it:

me: what?
TM: Hi, this is a courtesy call from blah blah home improvements...
me: who?
TM: Dumbass home improvement company, we'd like to offer you a free estimate on new windows...
me: do you know what the definition of "courtesy" is?
TM: um
me: courtesy isn't calling someone at 6pm after they've had a crappy week, and its ONLY TUESDAY, while all they want to do is make some tasty fajitas, after which I'll need to be hosed off, and then crawl into bed with the realization that tomorrow will be another crappy day, and if I don't get some tasty fajitas then I'm half tempted to drive my truck into my garage, close the door and let it run until I'm dead... but I don't have a garage.
TM: um
me: hey, do you build garages? I could totally use a garage right now because instead of making fajitas I'm talking on the phone with you.
TM: um
me: seriously, I'd leave you a check for it, but I have to be up front, the check is going to bounce because... well, I'm dead and I don't care if you get paid for the garage or not, can you do an estimate on a nice garage that's all sealed up so the carbon monoxide fumes won't escape and I'll die quicker?
TM: um
me: ok, how about you just stop calling me because I'm on the "do not call" list
TM: ok... have a nice night
me: you too clueless wonder


Huffle Mawson said...

This is why our phone stays unplugged.

ra husky said...