Sunday, June 27, 2010

Things That Are Getting On My Nerves This Weekend

Fledgling birds!

This is nest #2 of the dysfunctional robin family.  You would think after about 10 years of having their babies fall into the mouths of my dogs, they would go build their nests someplace else, but NOOOOO!

If they don't care that their offspring meets horrible deaths every time they fling themselves out of the nest, then I shouldn't have to live with the guilt, but they don't have to toss their (sometimes) still death reflex gulping babies over the fence after the sudden squawking death at the teeth of my huskies.  Euw.

There were two (note the past tense) this morning, but one threw itself out JUST as Loki came trotting out to pee and that was the end of that.  There's one more in there, tottering at the edge of the nest each time one of the dogs has to pee, so I'm forced (through guilt) to leash the dogs up and walk them around the yard to make sure the last survivor makes it out of the yard... I'm pretty sure when its ready to fling itself out of the nest it'll run straight for me and meet its doom.

They can't wait for the weekday when they have 8 hours of safe yard while we're at work, no they wait for the weekend.  Its so bad, Loki now just lays right under the nest with his mouth open.

Morons at the mall!

Friday I ran to the mall to grab batteries for my early warning Lojack system because their automated phone thing kept calling me while I was driving around and saying someone was stealing my car.  I got behind some woman that had a zillion "I support organ donation" stickers all over her car... who appeared to be lost, stupid, blind, or something.  When she slowed to 2.5 MPH I was screaming "OHMYGAWD ITS A GOOD THING YOU SUPPORT ORGAN DONATION BECAUSE WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET A WHOLE SET OF YOURS", and then when she stopped in the middle of the intersection, I realized her license plate holder said "I'm a kidney donor recipient" because I only managed to stop 2 inches from her back bumper, at which point I screamed: "YOU SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A BRAIN DONATION YOU SCUM SUCKING..." it went downhill from there.  I'm pretty sure she now needs a heart transplant because when I laid on the horn, she jumped about 5 feet in the air and got out of the way... make that an underwear transplant.

I did get to see a mall cop SUV, a mall cop cheater segway (the kind with 3 wheels), and two county cops at Burlington Coat Factory on the way out.  I was hoping they'd be dragging the kidney woman out in cuffs with the taser things still stuck to her chest.

I blame the heat for being cranky.


Huffle Mawson said...

I have a long long long LONG list of things that are making me cranky at the moment. I sympathise.

Coloradocasters said...

This was actually quite funny. A good read. Thank you for posting this. I look forward to reading more.