Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Just a quick rant

Still peeved at the government, but right now I think I’m pretty much dying of something horrible that makes you think you’re catching a cold, but not, and also makes your stomach rumble loudly and feel as though you’re about to either:
1.) hurl
2.) crap yourself

My morning meeting tomorrow should be a hoot.

So, its 8:30 and if my stomach doesn’t make so much noise that my storm freaked out husky thinks its thunder, I’m going to go to bed and turn up the volume so I can hear the tv over my stomach.

Guess I shouldn’t have eaten tacos tonight, eh?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Getting to Know You

If you’ve been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response and tagging 25 other victims. You have to tag me, so really you just need 24 more people. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you, but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page. Paste these instructions in the body of the note. Type your title as “Getting To Know Each Other”. Tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
- 5:00 am was clawed awake by Meeshka for the morning breakfast, then back to sleep until 8:30am

2. How do you like your steak?
- Rare or medium rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
- The recent Terminator movie, it sucked.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
- Emergency! (hey, you didn’t say it had to still be on)

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you?
- Alpaca Island

6. What did you have for breakfast?
- Cheerios

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
- Italian

8. What foods do you dislike?
- liver

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
- Egg salad at my house

10. Favorite dressing?
- Ranch

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
- 2005 RAV

12. What are your favorite clothes?
- sleepy pants

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
- Germany

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
- 1/2 full

15. Where would you want to retire?
- Anywhere but Maryland

16. Favorite time of day?
- Saturday

17. Where were you born?
- Goshen, Indiana

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
- Politics

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
- No clue.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
- No clue.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
- everyone is equally curious

22. Bird watcher?
- Only if they are gathering on a playground in mass numbers

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
- Morning, but that doesn’t make me any less cranky

24. Do you have any pets?
- Siberian Huskies: Meeshka, Sam and Loki

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
- no news is good news

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
- A fireman, a coroner

27. What is your best childhood memory?
- Floating down Rock Run Creek on a big styrofoam slab with my family and the Browns

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
- Dog

29. Are you married?
- Yes, since 1988

30. Always wear your seat belt?
- Yes

31. Been in a car accident?
- Yes

32. Any pet peeves?
- oh, too many to list

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
- mushrooms

34. Favorite Flower?
- anything still living

35. Favorite ice cream?
- Irresistably raspberry

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
- None

38. From whom did you get your last email?
- Facebook notification

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
- The Apple Store and ebags

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
- Tried to nap, but Meeshka stomped on me and Sam

41. Like your job?
- I like that I have a job

42. Broccoli?
- steamed into mush

43. What was your favorite vacation?
- Tennesee

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
- Gil

45. What are you listening to right now?
- Loki snoring

46. What is your favorite color?
- Green

47. How many tattoos do you have?
- None

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
- not sure

49. What time did you finish this quiz?
- 10:52 on Sunday

50. Coffee Drinker?
- by the gallon

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Post About Making Mashed Potatoes

So, while the hubby was out riding around on his Harley that I forced him to buy to get him out of the house so I could do some home improvement projects, like napping, I had a strange urge to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. What does napping have to do with home improvement, you may be rudely interrupting my thought process and asking, well, as I’m easily distracted I’ll answer that question by saying that its quite obvious you’ve never seen me spackle a wall, so by my not doing anything that improves our home a great deal. I bet you are sorry that you asked, and now you’re thinking why making meatloaf and mashed potatoes would be blog-worthy, and my aren’t you freakin critical tonight, who peed in your wheaties?

Like most people my kitchen is pretty devoid of any sort of fresh vegetable. What? Most people have fresh vegetables? Well, aren’t we special, its probably because you don’t work a semi-full time job and have people and animals to take care of after works and... oh shut up you freakin show offs and your fresh vegetables. We do have mint for Mojitos, so there!

Anyhoo, I found these Ore-Ida Steam-n-Mash potatoes, which are REAL potatoes in a frozen bag that you microwave and TADAAAAH mashed potatoes. Yeah, I can get into that. No potatoes on the shelf sprouting plants when you are in the mood for mashed potatoes, just drag the bag out of the freezer, microwave and... what’s this crap?

The instructions tell you to use potholders and pull the top of the bag apart. Have you ever tried to pull anything apart while wearing potholders, and NO I don’t have to hear any deviant sex thing you may have done with potholders on. Its IMPOSSIBLE to pull anything open (shut up) with potholders on. I look closer at the bag and it shows a pair of scissors and a dotted line. OHHH, I’m suppose to wear potholders and cut the stupid hot bag open... and just how is one suppose to use scissors while wearing potholders, and once again, not wanting to hear any circumcision while wearing potholders story.

So, risking the skin of my hands, I took ONE of the potholders off so I could hold the scissors and cut the bag open to find... chunks of potatoes that I’m suppose to now “mash”. WTF? I have to mash the potatoes after milk and butter??? This is just like WORK!!! Why can’t they be pre-mashed? And who has a potato masher nowadays anyway... oh, actually I do. I bought one to use to make this horrible dog food glop stuff for one of our dogs back when he was sick.... and YES I washed it before I mashed the potatoes.

So, after all of that work I fed them to the hubby who looked at them and said “Microwaved mashed potatoes?” and I nearly threw them on him, I MEAN COME ON!!!! I nearly pulled a muscle mashing those things!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Feds Versus the States

As you may recall at the end of my healthcare reform rant of yesterday, I was quite peeved about the fact that our Government goobers didn’t vote to allow conceal carry reciprocity because (among other lame excuses) they were all freaked out about that whole “ooh, we don’t want to trump a State’s rights and if we passed that pesky little bill then the Federal government would be all up in the States’ faces and telling them what to do”.

Yeah right, so what about this pesky little issue about Tennessee and the 10th Amendment

Someone needs to tell the ATF that the Feds don’t want to be telling the States how to act, because it pretty much says in their nasty ass letter that “Fed trumps State” as if they were playing a demented game of rock, paper, scissors or something. NOOO you silly state, rock beats paper every time.

Or how about this one, when California (now pronounced KAHLEEE FORNIA) passed the medicinal marijuana laws and the Feds when full tilt bozo nuts, threw a hissy and stomped all over States’ rights then too.

The Feds sure don’t seem too damn concerned about States’ rights on these two issues, but ooooh, look at their concern over simplifying the carrying of concealed weaponry by LAW ABIDING, LICENSED, PERMITTED CITIZENS.

Bailout Bill: The New Healthcare

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Healthcare Reform Rant

I was thinking of remodeling my house. It wasn’t suiting my needs, I would like a garage, but there’s no room for a garage, and I’d like more open spaces, and frankly we hardly ever use the bottom floor except for storage, so maybe I would like a storage shed or something, which we don’t have.

Instead of selling my house and moving to a house that suited my needs, I decided to remodel it... with a stick of dynamite. Blew the whole thing up and started from scratch and created a monstrosity of gargantuan proportions that I couldn’t afford and wasn’t any better than what I already had.

That, in a nutshell, is how Congress is “reforming” the United States healthcare system.

President Obama keeps saying that healthcare is bankrupting American. Actually I think that the TARP, PORKULUS Stimulus, bailouts, 33 czars making $100,000, Medicaid/Medicare fraud and wasteful government spending is causing more bankruptcy than healthcare, but here’s a bit of a spin on the whole “healthcare is causing a bankruptcy every 20 seconds” claim. As you can see, much like that claim that 90% of weapons confiscated in Mexico drug wars come from the U.S. (a statistic that is a downright lie), the President is using statistics to “prove” his claim that “we” need immediate health care reform.

I don’t think there’s anyone in the country that thinks that the healthcare system could use some polish and fixing. Everyone with healthcare has dealt with claims forms and statements and co-pays and billing errors and pre-existing conditions and finger pointing and problems. Sure healthcare is high, but not because the health care industry as a whole is a corrupt bunch of bastards, it has a lot to do with Government regulation, fraud, quotas, the added burden of Medicaid and Medicare paperwork, and those pesky trial lawyers looking for the big payola lawsuits for malpractice.

So, instead of just fixing the things that are wrong, our government has now written an over 1,000 page bill (that none of them will read... wish I had a job like that) that takes over the healthcare system, makes it government run, makes private insurance illegal... yes, ILLEGAL. Regardless, if you ran a business and it cost you $1,000 to insure an employee under private insurance, but it only cost you $50 to insure the employee under the new government insurance... oh yeah, get ready to stand in line and take a painkiller because your employer is gonna take the cheap way out. There is no way for private insurance to compete against the government, so pretty soon ALL of those health insurance employees will be in the unemployment line that is already filled with 14.7 million people (and that doesn’t include the unemployed whose benefits ran out), who will need government health care, who will need mortgage assistance, etc.

That’s ok, because under our current administration, its been suggested that Fannie and Freddie (bailed out government lapdogs) will buy your house and rent it to you.

So, you have government health insurance, government unemployment benefits, government rent... why bother working? Heck, why not just lay around in your government house and collect government benefits and do nothing but cruise the internet for porn all day? Well, because someone has to actually work to pay taxes to give you all that money! What? You mean the government isn’t just going to print more money, we have to work and pay taxes? Why yes, you moron!

But that’s ok, because you have free health insurance and can get medicine when you are sick, bones fixed when you break them, and an abortion! What? Oh yeah, you see Maryland Senator Mikulski snuck in a vague provision that looks, feels, and smells just like government subsidized abortion, but nobody is calling it that... because most of the things outlined in the Health Care Reform bill haven’t been created yet. Nobody really knows what will or will not be covered under the new health care because the government cronies that will be in charge of it haven’t been hired and haven’t made up the rules yet... but you will get an abortion on demand at the taxpayer’s dime.

Frankly, if a person wants to have an abortion, that’s up to them. Its not my place to tell other people what they can and can’t do, its their right, its perfectly legal... but to me its elective surgery, like a boob job. If you want an abortion, go pay for it, don’t make me pay for it otherwise I’ll want you to pay for my big hooter job and maybe some big Angelina Jolie lips. What? You don’t want to pay for boobs? Why not, it’s perfectly legal for me to get big boobs, so why shouldn’t the taxpayer foot the bill for it?

Ok, fine, so we get government healthcare and I don’t get big boobs, FINE, be that way, so how are we going to pay for it? The RICH! The rich will pay for everything because, well, they’re rich, except they won’t be rich for long at this rate, and then who will pay for it when it turns out that the Government: “was misled about how bad healthcare would cost” or “didn’t have all of the facts about healthcare” or “Inherited bad healthcare from Bush” or... whatever? Well, there’s that whole “trickle down” theory where when the rich run out of money, we tap the not so rich, and then the really not so rich, and then the... holy crap we ran out of people to tax so let’s tax bad things like cola, cigarettes, popcorn, broccoli, air.

What next? How do we make more money to pay for healthcare now that everyone is on the government healthcare bandwagon? Give them the red pill instead of a hip replacement. All of those seniors who aren’t paying into the healthcare program through their taxes, well, they’re just dead weight now, so why bother giving them the things they need. 80 years old and have a brain tumor like Senator Kennedy? Screw you, go to “End of Life” counseling. Why needlessly suck more money from a system that you no longer contribute to, you should be ashamed of yourself and die already. Meanwhile our fearless government leaders will keep their cushy anything goes healthcare program that you pay for, and they won’t be standing in lines or waiting for a czar to pronounce whether you really need that gangrenous leg amputated (here, have a red pill) because it took you a month to see a nurse practitioner before you had to wait 3 months to see a real doctor. Pretty soon the government will be blaming old people and people with chronic illness for the rising cost of government healthcare and the increase in taxes to pay for it. Soon, ACORN and unions will be picketing the houses of old people and the chronically ill and generating hatred for them so that the people will blame them for their crappy healthcare system. Since abortion is on the books as being one of the services approved by the government, isn’t it the next logical conclusion that every pregnant woman must get screened and if their fetish even shows a hint of having a health issue, perhaps mandatory abortions will be the norm to screen out defects and make sure that children aren’t born that will put a burden on health care costs... hmmm.

One last thought on the amendment that would have allowed concealed carry reciprocity that was defeated today. The argument (other than it would put more guns in the hands of criminals... I laughed til I peed on that one) was that some states require tests, or filling out different forms, or taking safety tests, so to allow a person with a conceal carry permit from one state that didn’t require you to fill out a form to conceal carry into another state would diminish that state’s laws. To that I have to say this: The state of Maryland doesn’t require you to have a blood test to get married, so if I travel to a state that DOES require a blood test, that means I’m not legally married in that state?

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Frito-Lay WTF???

The other day hubby and I went to a sandwich shop for lunch. I wanted a bag of potato chips to go with my sandwich, so I grabbed a bag of Lays potato chips... or so I thought.

What with the government concern over the obesity “epidemic” all forms of frying foods in transfat had been banned, therefore we’re now forced to choke down chips cooked in all manner of non-carcinegenic, fattening manners, such as chips fried in water, and soy, which are disgusting and vile. It didn’t surprise me to see that the bag of chips I chose were “baked”, but the “original” stamped on the package assured me that I was getting a tasty Lays chip product, so whatever.

My first clue that something was not right was when I opened the bag and discovered this:

Seriously, WTF is this? This isn’t a potato chip! This is plasterboard, and seriously, that’s what it tasted like too! It was as if some sort of horrible Star Trek transporter malfunction had taken a real potato that had been fried in tasty grease and changed it into some form of potato-chip looking thing that tasted nothing like a potato. It was so faux that if handed one of these things while blindfolded I never would have guessed “potato chip”, I most probably would have spat it out, demanded water to clean my mouth out then called my attorney. I think my exact words were “HOLY MOTHER OF GAH! What the Frick is this????”

That’s when I took a closer look at the bag and found this incriminating bit of info that should have been the font size of the entire bag to announce to the buyer of the “chips” that this bag doesn’t contain CHIPS, it contains CRISPS. WTF??? Crisps? I hate to inform you scum sucking bastards of Frito-Lay, but crisps are English for POTATO CHIPS!!! Made the exact same way that potato chips are suppose to be made, so what the heck is your definition of “crisp”? Bits of reconstituted potato manner shaped in a form that resembles a potato chip that you hope will fool consumers? I can tell you that their look won’t fool anyone and sticking one in their mouth will totally clue them in that they aren’t eating a potato chip.

To further cover their lies, the back contains this bit of info that says that regular potato chips have 10g per 1oz serving, but this bag of “snacks”... SNACKS? You can’t even claim them as a potato product or even a chip, and yet you throw these things in the SAME type of bag that use to contain your tasty potato chips, but add that whole BAKED! thing on there, as if we’re suppose to get all happy and excited and can’t wait to eat them, only to discover that the bag would have been tastier.

I’m tired of being lied to by paid liars. You may call them “marketing” people, but they’re nothing more than a bunch of liars! How can something be “new and improved”? If its new then how can you improve it? Its old and you improved it somehow, most likely by changing the stupid package colors... that doesn’t mean its improved! Stop lying to us, and stop trying to make us think that your craptastic “healthy” junk is tasty or even good for us! Just because you make things less fat doesn’t mean that people are going to lose weight and be healthier. Nope, good news for you is that they’ll just have to eat 40 times more of your product, and they will, but they’ll still get fat and unhealthy and in a few years we’ll all be paying for that with our wonderful government run healthcare... except that potato “crisps” will cost $5,000 with tax.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

It just keeps getting better!

Having served my country in the United States Air Force, I’m intimately familiar with how Government “does” healthcare... and it sucks. Really, it totally sucks ass. I’m incredibly lucky to have a job where health care is provided for me so I don’t have to suffer in the long waiting periods, long lines, the incompetent doctors, the bureaucracy and paper boondoggle of the Veteran’s Administration. I try to avoid the VA at all costs, but am sometimes forced to go and be looked at for Service-related issues and each time I wonder if its just better to poke my eyes out with a pencil than deal with that crap ever again.

That being said, this glorious and wonderfully expensive healthcare reform bill that is literally being shoved down our throats is nothing but a more expansive version of the VA organization. Wanna know how bad it is? Simply Google: VA horror stories and page upon page upon page of them will be right there for your disgust and horror. If we treat our brave men and woman so crappily, can you imagine how they’re going to treat average americans?

Well, you can just keep your healthcare plan if you like it... or can you? Actually, you can keep it... until you are forced to not keep it. On page 16 of the massive over 1,000 page crap filled healthcare bill is a little surprise for everyone that says in a nutshell: private health insurance will be outlawed.

Yep, page 16 holds a wonderful surprise to everyone who thinks that they can keep whatever healthcare they have and let others stand in line, be micromanaged, and denied healthcare by the government. Oh no, you won’t be able to keep it for long and also kiss that non-taxed flexible spending allotment you’ve enjoyed all these years, because the government will need ALL the money you can give them to pay for this wonderful health care reform.

How bad is the healthcare reform bill? The typically got its nose so far up the President’s butt they can’t hear the screams of liberal bias Washington Post has come out and said that its bad policy to think that the rich can pay for all of these programs. A spokesperson for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce went on record to say that when they read the bill they didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Has anyone started a tally of all the things that the rich are going to be paying for? Has anyone figured out that with Cap and Tax, Healthcare, and the myriad of other programs about to become law that the rich will no longer be rich because they’ll either be taxed into the poorhouse, or they’ll take their money to another country that appreciates them and where does the money for these socialist programs come from then?

The Congressional Budget Office has said that the 10 year price tag for the House version of this bill currently stands at $1.3 TRILLION dollars. We all know how well the Government is in anticipating costs, since their Medicare Part D drug benefit was five year costed at $409 billion, and now the long term present value cost exceeds $9 TRILLION today.

So, were you aware that this bill, if passed, wouldn’t even start until 2012? Um, so what’s the freakin rush on signing it? Why is our President running out the bleeding hearts and the sob stories, why is he spending a ton of money (most likely OUR money) running commercials (in cahoots with the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America) intended to scare people into supporting this bloated piece of crap legislature that will drive small businesses out of business, big businesses out of the country (if Crap and Trade doesn’t do that first) and force people into a crappy government run healthcare system that will determine whether your grandmother gets a new hip or brain surgery... while your elected officials have their own fantastic everything goes FREE health insurance... because they sure the hell won’t deal with the crap they’re giving us. Just check out HR615, which is a resolution that says if they healthcare reform passes, all representatives will give up their cushy free (well, free meaning taxpayer paid for it) healthcare to go on the “public” (which actually means government run) healthcare... see anything odd about the list of representatives supporting that bill? I’ll help you out... NO DEMOCRATS!!! I call this Resolution the “You dealt it, now you get to smell it” resolution. You want this healthcare plan, then you take it with us. I want to see you standing in line with me, getting denied treatment or languishing while I wait for an appointment.

I have a whole conspiracy theory on why this craptastic healthcare plan doesn’t start until 2012, but I’ll save that for another rant, right now I think I’ll go look for more bones to break so I can at least get my money’s worth out of my private healthcare while I still have it.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wednesday Evening Rant

I was going to entitle this: LEAVE US ALONE JUST LEAVE US ALONE YOU BLOOD SUCKING GOVERNMENT, but that sounded a bit manic.

Ok, so I didn’t have a chance to do an overview of the Sotomayor questioning yesterday, so here it is now. Since I sat through about 5 painful hours of the blah blah blah, I figured I’d spice it up a little and interpret it for everyone so its not so boring. Please note that SS is for Sonia Sotomayor... not the Nazi death police, just wanted to clear that up, because some people think they’re one and the same... I’m not saying what I think.

Leahy: Do you like chocolate or vanilla ice cream?
SS: 15 minute ramble about sprinkles and how she was the first person to use sprinkles in conjunction with ice cream.
Leahy: So you have experience in both ice cream and sprinkles?
SS: Yes, but I don’t make ice cream or sprinkles.
Leahy: But what about whipped cream? Everyone uses whipped cream and frankly because you don’t use whipped cream they call you a racist, but if you used whipped cream they’d call you an activist.
SS: Yes, I agree. Its not that I don’t like whipped cream, and I’m not a whipped cream racist and not using it, when I can use hot fudge, even when cherries are available its unfair.
Leahy: Everyone hates you and has called you names and those people are evil and should be killed.
SS: I didn’t mean what I said 15 or 20 times.
Leahy: what about guns?
SS: I know people with guns
Sessions: What about Ricci?
SS: What? Oh that thing about testing, no big thing.
Sessions: What?
SS: What? What?
Sessions: What about Roe vs Wade?
SS: I don’t like fish eggs, but I can’t make a decision because I’ve never eaten Wade, but I hear some people like it.
SS: breaks into speaking latin hoping to confuse the senators.
Maloney: Why aren’t nunchucks considered “arms”
SS: because you could swing them around and put out someone’s eye by mistake.
Cardin: I love you, if I weren’t a man I’d want to have your wise latina babies. I don’t have any questions, I’ll just sit here and answer every question you answered yesterday because I’m actually a sheep in human costume.
Specter: I’m pleased to announce that during the Senate recesses I’ll be appearing as the new crypt keeper on HBO, but first I want to ask if you would allow cameras in the supreme court, but I’ll take 15 minutes to ask it so I don’t have to ask any more questions that have already been asked and answered by you in various and sundry different ways each time which made me nauseous but because I’m now a Democrat so I can keep my job I’ll vote for you anyway because I’m a lemming.
Franken: ok, I didn’t watch that clown asking questions because there’s only so much I can tolerate.

So, I fully expect that she’ll be voted in regardless of what she says or does, and if any republicans vote for her, well, I hope their constituents vote their butts out of office. I also think they should have hired John Madden and that stupid board he always wrote on to map the questions.

While all of that hoopla was going on, the Senate Health Committee (surprisingly enough) passed a massed gazillion page healthcare bill (that nobody read) that pretty much costs more than the world could make in a lifetime and will force us into a Government run plan. Whoot, glad I broke my foot before this thing gets through. Instead of wearing a boot, I would have been forced to hack it off with a rusty limb saw because I couldn’t get an appointment. Here’s a picture of how the new healthcare would work, and no, I didn’t make this up, this is straight from the bill as mapped by the GOP... which the Libs will say is wrong, but I challenge someone else to get a copy of the massive bill and map it out and see if its different than this massive boondoggle.

I also have to wonder, while Hillary has been out recovering from her broken elbow, did she have to take 5 days of vacation time before her Short Term Disability benefits kicked in and is she only receiving 80% of her pay like the rest of us? What is her co-pay for the surgery and treatment and how much per month does she have to pay for her insurance. I also want to know if ANY of our elected officials will be under the same healthcare system they are shoving down our throats. If not... WHY?

The economy must be bad because the Scott Trade commercials no longer show the president flying around in a helicopter. The economy must be ultra bad because apparently Wells Fargo is suing itself, the city of Baltimore is suing Wells Fargo and apparently Merrill Lynch (who was bought by Bank of America at the end of a Fed gun) is hiring former UBS employees... you may recall that the IRS is going after UBS because their bank allegedly helped very rich people hide money overseas and the IRS wants theirs.

Yeah, that’s your nationwide roundup for the day.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Always gotta be something

This morning I called the health department to rat out our neighbors, who have apparently abandoned their house, let it go to hell, and now have a mosquito breeding ground in their half crap filled swimming pool. I asked what the process was, hoping to hear the woman cheerfully say that they’ll immediately send a crew to clean up everything and give the house to very nice people who love mowing their neighbors’ lawns and cooking for them, but all I got was: um, we post notices and try to contact the owners and there might be citations and fines.

That’s it? They don’t care about their house to the point where they dumped crap in their pool and left it like that, do you actually think a citation will compel them to fix up a house they’re foreclosing on? “oh”, she chirped, “they will throw some mosquito poison stuff in the pool”. Great! That’ll make the future crack den I live next to even better. I didn’t leave my name... just felt safer that way.

I suffered throughout the stupid Sotomayor hearing thing today. Apparently every Senator has to give an opening statement. I don’t know why, other than to pee on each other and pretty much tell the world how they’re going to vote. Why bother asking her any questions, save us all some money and just let her in already and get on with ruining the country faster with crappy, expensive healthcare, investigations into things that happened 8 years ago, pointing fingers and calling everyone liars, and making me put skylights on my house to “green” it up before I sell it. Frankly, anyone that wants my house will also love having the crack den from hell next door. I did think the funniest thing said was by Senator Kauffman who said “Whoever comes to the Supreme Court better come with no balls and no strikes”. hehehe, he said no balls. I also sat and drooled a bit by the new Minnesota Senator, Mr. Franken, who spent his time talking about himself and seemed to forget why he was actually talking. Mr. Leahy did say that nobody was above the law because that’s not what a Democracy is. Well, unfortunately for Mr. Leahy, we actually live in a Republic, so perhaps he better go to whatever Democratic country he thinks he lives in.

The funniest back and forth I’ve seen in a while was between Stuart Varney and Ms. Meme Roth, who seems to be some anti-obesity person. The argument was that Delta Airline was only making stewardess uniforms up to size 18 and no larger. Apparently this rubbed some larger stewardesses (oops, I mean flight attendants) wrong. Here’s the exchange. I have to side on Ms. Roth’s side on this one frankly... go ahead and hate me all you want, but if I’m on a burning airplane, I don’t want a size 26 flight attendant in my way, its bad enough I gotta deal with other people and small children in those miniscule aisles and seats. I want someone I can heave to the side and make my escape, so the thinner the better.

I don’t even want to go into the fun-fest of my car insurance company, who seems to have their heads up their asses, and now I have to call them tomorrow and yell at them. I also have my 2 week foot recheck. I have to say that I actually like my boot, Larry (or Larwii). Its very comforting and frankly a good excuse to use the elevator to go up one floor.

I’m going to go up and stare at the tv mindlessly and eat those pure sugar faux flavored ice pops by the handful.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

New Stuff

Hubby got his Harley today, he’s out riding it around. I got my new mondo huge iMac yesterday and I’m test driving it. After staring at a 15 inch screen for years, the 24 inch screen takes some getting use to. Its HUGE and bright and I don’t have to lean over and squint any more. I’m guessing cartooning will be a lot easier on it, and already downloaded the trial version of Corel Painter on it to see if the expensive ultra mega mega full blown version is better than the elements version I’ve been using.

I have to say, I LOVE the new huge screen, and I’m hoping it’ll get me motivated to do more with cartooning and stuff, but generally just getting use to how bright it is is the biggest adjustment.

I’ve decided that the medium Wacom Intuos4 pad will be the way to go. I just don’t have enough desk space for the large pad, so that’ll be a cost saver right there. Actually the biggest issue is where to park the mondo huge Harley, as it won’t seem to fit under our front porch, and just parking it in the driveway is more than hubby can handle because even though he bought a cover, parking it out in the elements is akin to cruel and unusual punishment for the motorcycle. Hey, whatever, he’s happy (out riding around even as I type), and we can accommodate whatever vroomy needs to keep him happy.

Its going to be hard to keep up with the housework and stuff now that I have a cool new computer, but with hubby out on the bike cruising around, I don’t think he’ll notice, nor care. I do have a ton of laundry sitting in the bathroom right now that I should be doing, but I have a new toy, screw the laundry, besides, there’s one more day in the weekend to do all of that horrible housework stuff.

Hubby did mow the front lawn, which means I can now call the health department on the neighbors who have apparently abandoned their house. Every time I go outside I’m armed with the mosquito zapper tennis racket thing to kill the swarms that attack me and the dogs. Poor things don’t like going outside because they get attacked, and frankly I’m not too thrilled about that. We can’t even go on our deck without getting eaten alive.

I have to say that its been a good weekend, what with the spending like Obama going on here at the house. Maybe that’s why the guy goes on bazillion dollar spending sprees, for that money high and new toys feeling. I just wish he wouldn’t use my money to go on spending sprees.

So, today was good. Motorcycle, new iMac, spent some time with some friends at their engagement party, ate some good food, the only thing missing was a nap, so I need to schedule one of those for tomorrow in between loads of laundry.

That’s about it, no ranting today.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

It just makes me so wully

Every night I come home with a list of rants that I think of throughout the day, but the moment I get home, feed the pups, fix dinner, drag myself up and down the stair 500 times with the boot, then finally plant myself in front of the laptop (which will soon be replaced with a sweet new mondo huge iMac, so the laptop can be more mobile, but I digress), my brain has turned to mush and there’s no energy to rant.

I’m going to try to rant even though I’m brain dead again... so no promises, this could get ugly.

Health care
Hospitals have vowed to cut $155B to help pay for the new healthcare. So, idealistic morons, where do you suppose that money will be coming from? Do ya think the CEOs and board members and all them high muckity mucks will be giving up part of their salary, their cushy perks and comfy offices for the good of the non-insured... yeah, right. Get ready for impossible to make appointments, no more basic services, cleaning your own bed pans, administering your own enemas because the lowly workerbees will get canned, no more greeters, no more candy stripers, no more coffee in waiting rooms, no more clean sheets, screw it all, everything that has to do with care will go to hell before a manager gives up anything. I’m also guessing that my co-pay will go through the roof, my insurance will be so expensive I won’t be able to afford it and I’ll end up on Obamacare in line with the rest of you.

Cyber attack
Hey, did you know that someone did a mondo denial of service attack on government and banking computers around the 4th of July??? Well, of course you didn’t know, because Michael Jackson crap was waaaay more important than real news.

The Stimulus is helpful
I heard a report the other day that said that traffic congestion was the lowest its been in years, and how much better the commute has been for some communities... um, yeah, no shit that’s because so many people are unemployed the road is wide open... that stimulus is helpful.

Stimulus has also been helpful in creating and SAVING jobs, as our reliably delusional Vice President keeps reminding us, especially in states where the approval rating of his boss went from 60% to 49% in a week... which is why our reliably delusional VP (who is suppose to be spearheading the Stimulus fund tracking and the Iraq military pull out) was in Ohio telling its unemployed citizens that the stimulus has saved jobs like... oh a gazillion GOVERNMENT jobs, but F you normal non-government working people. He even said specifically that 2.5 million jobs had been saved or created by the stimulus. Now, call me crazy, but if you can put an actual number to how many jobs were saved or created... then you can provide us with an F’ing line by line list of what jobs exactly were saved or created. Give us some names, places, we want details of these jobs because it could be that someone reading the list is qualified to take over one of those created jobs and get off of unemployment.

The stimulus is also very helpful because its costing us $18M to revamp the recovery.org website because apparently it wasn’t very transparent in telling us where the money goes. $18 MILLION to revamp a web site, when a private entrepreneur has created an iPhone application to track bailouts that you can get for $1.99. I’m pretty sure that app didn’t require a government fed $18M... and you doubt that the government healthcare will be cheap and successful? You are a moron if you do.

The Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse is getting $16M in San Francisco (Ms. Pelosi’s state) in the stimulus bill. Did you know that? That’s one of those pesky “porky” things that Chuck Schumer was snidely ridiculing us for having a problem with. Yep, one of those “drops in a bucket” things we shouldn’t even care about.... because we’ll be footing the bill for other things, we don’t need that pesky $16M like the mouse does.

What’s good for AIG is good for Social Security
Peter Spencer, the head of the Social Security Administration (yes, the totally bankrupted Ponzi Scheme where did our retirement money go agency) stood there with a straight face and told a reporter that the Arizona Biltmore was the ONLY place where 700 managers could go to learn useful manager-type things on the taxpayer dime. Oh yeah, you bitched and moaned about AIG and other companies that took bailout having swanky retreats in fancy places, but did you ever think our very own government would take money straight from you, embezzle your retirement, and then stand there and look you in the eye and say they NEEDED to come to a swank resort to meet?

You want us to what?
We want you to actually read bills before you pass them please. Is it too much to ask that you actually DO the F’ing job you were voted in to do? How can you represent us when you don’t even know what the F you are voting for? Yes we expect you to read the F’ing bills and if you can’t read 1,500 pages of CRAP and Traitor before it goes up for a vote then vote NO. Don’t you dare come back and say “oh gee, I didn’t know the Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse was getting a job when all of Ohio foreclosed on their homes” you FTard, you would have had you DONE YOUR JOB!!!

We now have more czars than 300 years of russian rule, and each of them are paid over $100,000, get money for their staff and office, and are held accountable by absolutely NOBODY... transparency you can truly count on. Oh, one of them is responsible for spending $18M on revamping the site that is suppose to tell us where the stimulus money is going... good job, way to go!

On a personal note, I’m officially sick and tired of explaining that yes, I broke my foot doing Wii active, stop laughing or you’ll have this boot up your...

I have decided to name my boot (as I name just about everything else, I’d hate to disappoint the boot) and have decided that Larry is the boot’s name. Of course everyone reminded me that since its a Wii injury, the boot should have a Wii-related name, so you can now call the boot Larwii to appease everyone and also remind me that I’m a moron that can’t run in place without injuring myself, thanks.

I would also like to calm the general public who seems to have the very same reaction when they are told that I broke my foot doing Wii, and that is to give me a look of abject horror and declare “but I just bought a Wii for my children” in the same tone of voice as they would say “but I just purchased a poisonous viper for my children!”, as if the Wii would, on its own, leap at them and injure them. Please note that unless your child is in their 40’s, recently quit smoking and hadn’t exercised in 20 years, they’re probably safe.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Don't Tear Me Down - Widget

Economic Crisis Explained

For years, crops circles have been blamed on extra-terrestrial visitors coming from upon high to leave us with some mysterious signs that we’re suppose to divine great knowledge from.

A recent story has revealed that wallabies are munching on tasty poppy plants, then boinging around fields and creating these weird crop circle formations before sleeping it off.

This revelation made me think: what else are stoned wallabies responsible for?

Friday, July 03, 2009

The Green REEPer

While everyone is out getting an early celebratory groove on by shooting fireworks that cause my dog to claw me, which is why I'm sitting downstairs in front of the computer instead of sleeping peacefully, I thought I'd send a little shout out about the wonderful Cap and Trade bill our Congress just passed.

I'm sure you all know that nobody read that 1,500 page piece of tyranny, please remember that during the elections for anyone that actually passed something they didn't even bother to read should be fired, jailed, and ordered to pay back their salary.

So, all of you "representatives" and I use that term incredibly loosely since you aren't representing anyone except your own self interests, here's a little gem inside that pesky bill that you probably didn't know about... and if you did know about it, I'll add lined up and shot to the whole firing, jailed, and pay back your salary list.

Retrofit for Energy and Environmental Performance or REEP (because our government just LOVES them some catchy acronyms), is a program that says (in a nutshell) before you sell your house, you have to hire a myriad of professionals, government types, and pay to "green" your house before you can sell it. Yes, that's right, your house isn't really yours anymore, it has to pass inspection to make sure you aren't killing the earth... as if you had that power.

Oh, they haven't written the standards or anything, the EPA will get around to doing that as soon as they create a whole slew of new government positions and equally catchy titles to make sure everyone's house is up to their standards they haven't written yet.

Part of that retrofit to commercial buildings will be the addition of plugs for people to plug their cars into. Hey, that's handy... especially since most hybrid cars are not fully electrical except for that new Chevy Volt that's suppose to be coming out soon. Chevy is made by... GM... which is owned by... the GOVERNMENT! How handy that part of the REEP mandate will be that buildings accommodate something that ONLY Government Motors cars will be needing. By the way, in case you are wondering where electricity comes from, the government has already told us that it won't come from foreign fuels or anything like that, because most people will plug their cars in at night and we get energy at night from windmills and dams... no seriously, they actually said that and expect us to believe that... really, I can find a quote if you think that stupidity is made up, it actually came out of the mouth of a White House advisor.

By the way, have you heard the news that the discussion of global warming (climate chaos, climate change) is over? Apparently not, since scientists (not highly paid beaurocrats) are now coming out of the woods and dissenting. Seems to me that if we have REAL scientists coming out and saying their opinions are being censored, that an EPA scientist's report against the cause of climate change was censored, then there's still some discussion we need to have before the government stomps all over our rights and forces us to meet standards that aren't even needed and line the pockets of those pushing this crap on us.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Dear Chantix, you LIAR and stumps

Ok, so the last time we talked I was begging for detachable feet or at the very least something with a bit more of a kick in it like Vicodin, because its not very adult to stand in the middle of a mall weeping because your feet hurt and you still had half a mall before you even got to the Apple store and there’s just no way you can make it back to the truck even if that’s where the Starbucks was.

What does this have to do with Dear Chantix you may ask? Well, apparently now my dearest Chantix must come with a warning label that says you shouldn’t believe the voices that Chantix plants in your head about leaping off of buildings or flinging yourself into traffic... which are very compelling. Yep, apparently the FDA, who is right on the ball with recalling tainted food products (hehehe, I wrote taint) days after hundreds are sickened, are now requiring that warning labels be affixed to the dear Chantix that warns you about suicidal thoughts and depression. Of course, you’ll have to get through the whole crapping your pants and double over stomach pains warnings before hitting that little gem of information. The thing that cracks me up the most about this article is this quote:

“The antidepressant Wellbutrin, which has the same active ingredient as GlaxoSmithKline PLC's Zyban, already carries such a warning.” AHAHAHAAAAAAA seriously? An antidepressant that makes you depressed? That’s all sorts of genius isn’t it???

Ok, back to the whole feet drama, yes I was weeping and keening in the middle of a mall because it was Apple store or abject pain in my feet and the whole stubborn “I’m not going to beg my husband to drive the car into the mall to pick me up so that I don’t have to walk any farther” drama. There’s also never a handicapped person on a scamp around when you need to hijack one. I did make it to the apple store and back, but it was touch and go.

Monday morning I sat on hold with the obnoxiously happy hold music (which needs to come with its own disclaimer that when your feet hurt you may be tempted to kill innocent people while being on hold) only to be told that my X-rays were negative. Seriously? So that’s suppose to be comforting that there’s nothing medically wrong with me that can be seen by X-ray so the agony of walking is all in my head or something??? I called the podiatrist and when they asked how severe the pain was I told them that if I didn’t get an appointment in the next few hours they needed to turn on the local news to see me holding up the local CVS for crutches and vicodin, and they kindly squeezed me into an afternoon slot.

Note to self: find new podiatrist as their office is located in a cell phone dead spot... I was seen after three games of mahjong and years of foot doctor school qualified my sadistic podiatrist to gently press on the very areas that would cause me to leap from the half chair thing and scream like a little girl. Apparently this means I hosed up my ankle and stress fractured one of those little foot bones that are integral to the whole walking without pain process. I was summarily strapped into a stylish gray ski boot and given a prescription for stronger NSAIDS (and the next day the FDA says those will make my liver explode, but between suicidal Chantix and exploding liver and feet of pain, I’m pretty sure that years of military alcohol abuse has pickled my liver to a point where nothing could harm it short of a spear or vacation in a third world country where I wake up in a bathtub full of ice).

Anyhoo, I get to wear the nice boot for two weeks (during the summer... how quaint) and go back for a check up and then probably more time in the boot, and frankly I think this is a great way to save money on left shoes. I can at least walk halfway normal and without too much pain, but I’m sick of telling people HOW I hurt my foot. Seriously, I hurt it running in place during Wii Active.... no really... fine, I was injured in a bar fight. Ok, fine, I was parachuting the other day... no really a bear was in the yard attacking my neighbor (seriously, I’d actually take video of the mauling and sell it to TMZ or something), no really, its a wiinjury and no I’m not suing... unless you’re a lawyer and want to represent me and then I’m all about the horrible pain and suffering and stuff.

Yeah, so I’m waiting for the elevator at work and it hits the 2nd floor and as usual, someone starts to walk out because they think its the 1st floor and just how lazy can a person be to take an elevator down 1 floor... then I hobble in with my boot and they get all “oh, you have a reason” looking and even say something about “oh yeah, you need to take the elevator because you have a broken foot”, to which I say to them “um, no I don’t” and just stand there and stare at the top of the elevator door trying not to laugh. Tomorrow if someone asks what I did to my foot I’m going to say “um, nothing, why?”