Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Swine Flu Resources

Ok, this post has nothing to do with Swine Flu, unless you count Barbara Mikulski, which can confuse some people.

I’m so relieved to know that Tiger Woods failed to control his vehicle and got a ticket, so I expect that all of the reporters who are covering the story (which includes EVERY reporter in the world) will now go about their business and report on more important things (no, not the State Dinner crashers) something else more newsworthy.

What, I hear you saying, could be more newsworthy than a golfer running into a tree? Well, perhaps one of our wonderful Senators actually introducing an amendment that will guarantee woman mammogram access when they turn 40. What, I hear you moaning, why is that newsworthy? Well, I’ll tell you why that’s newsworthy and should send you into fits of rage... why do we need that amendment?

Didn’t your wonderful Government come out and swear up and down that even though a Government agency says that you don’t NEED a mammogram until well after you turn 50, and after every breast cancer place threw a world class hissy fit over that announcement, that our fearless Government leaders promised that mammogram decisions would remain solely between you and your doctor? Yes, they did... so why an amendment?

Because our wonderful 40 gazillion page healthcare bill that our Government keeps trying to ram down our throats quickly (even though it won’t take effect for years) says that decisions on your health will ALWAYS be between you and your doctor... we just ain’t paying for a whole lot of stuff.

So, yes, you can just go ahead and get one of them there mammograms, but by GAWD you’ll have to pay for it all by yourself if you aren’t 50. That’s why Babs Mikulski of Maryland has introduced this lovely amendment. You may be asking yourself... um, where’s the pap smear love? Where’s that prostate amendment? Where’s the amendment that says I don’t have to take the blue pill and can get a new hip if I need it? Well, nobody has proposed those amendments, so you can just talk that stuff over with your doctor, sorta like those “remember when burst appendix removal was covered under the old healthcare system” talks you have with old friends, and then you can just lay on the floor of the exam room and die because you wanted “universal” healthcare.

Frankly I’m pretty sure that alien anal probe IS covered under the healthcare plan and it will be performed by the IRS to pay for everything.

1 comment:

Huffle Mawson said...

Your health system sucks. Big time.