Friday, October 23, 2009

Catch Up Rambling

Ugh, its been so long. Between caring for Sammy (the $15,000.00 dog) and then the in-laws visited, I needed some time away in a looney bin... oh wait, that's insensitive and not "politically correct", I needed some time away in the looney container... there, that's better, and just couldn't start ranting about things because all of the life blood had been sucked from my body from the stupidity of our government... and my in-laws, but I digress.

So, as usual, here is a rambling rant about things that I write down in a journal and will later be found once I'm dead and festering and I will be named the most brilliant person in the world, and my writings will make someone a gazillion dollars, and my curse to them will be that the government will take all that money from them and burn my journals... or something like that... but once again, I digress.

The Pur water filter commercial where some chick is running on a treadmill and there's a bottle of water. The text on the screen points out that the water bottle will sit in a landfill forever, so you should buy their expensive pitcher and filters (which apparently biodegrade faster than a water bottle). I just wanted to point out that because of the Government edict that states we shall either recycle the plastic bottle or else languish in Climate Chaos jail for the rest of our lives, that bottle will be recycled (and cause 80% more CO2 emissions from the plant that recycles it into... another bottle, than just burying it in a hole), that bottle won't go to a landfill... but that big ass honking treadmill will and it'll do more damage than that stupid water bottle.

I just saw a news report about these knuckleheads that hang onto a parachute thing and snowboard off of mountains. I would like to point out that these are the knuckleheads that aren't insured, but will now be required to be insured and we won't get care because morons that swing on a parachute off a mountain broke every bone in their body and now need 24 hour care for the rest of their lives. Still think mandatory healthcare is a good idea? Its so much better now that they're just left on the mountain to die. Oh wait, they aren't, they get care that we're paying for (apparently) anyway, so leave my freakin healthcare alone you corrupt government vultures.

Had I known that illegal aliens, children, and IRS agents who aren't eligible to get that first time homeowner money got checks anyway, I would have had my dogs buy a house so I could get a check. Hey, dogs need a house, and frankly their credit rating has tanked since the bank bailouts. They're very excited over the possibility of getting their own bailout. The dogs want to invest in kleenex because 1.) its tasty 2.) the swine flu thing, 3.) the constant weeping of conservatives. I think its a good idea actually, and I can't wait to get the money.

I saw a commercial that showed Onstar shutting off a car that had been stolen. If you have Onstar, I would suggest you never piss them off because you'd be screwed.

Balloon Boy... When will we required tests before people are allowed to breed? I'm pretty sure balloon boy's parents wouldn't have been able to pass it.

So people are standing in line for the H1N1 shot (my husband pronounces it "Highknee") and yet the authorities are telling people not to be around crowds... so wouldn't it be safer just to stay home rather than stay in line with a bunch of people?

I truly do think that Geraldo is a moron. He's now come up with the "Precious Poodle" rule in the cases of these children turning up dead when they go missing. His advice: Don't allow your children to wander someplace where you wouldn't allow your pedigree dog to wander. Seriously Geraldo? I think you just beat that harpy Nancy Grace in the most ridiculous advice one could ever give category. I would also like to say that if sex offenders are so heinous that we have to GPS track their every movement WHY LET THEM OUT OF JAIL TO BEGIN WITH???

Ok, I bought new pillows, so I'm off to try them out... or smother myself with it.

2 comments:

Janet said...

Hi Penny,

Always good to read your (or Meeshka's) blogs! Glad you survived the family visit!

Just have a question for you - Did you change the name of your blog? I thought it was "Everyday tales of woe," but now I see it as "woo." Of course, we'd all rather you had woos than woes!

Janet (you know, Yuri and Sheba's HuMom and staff)

Huffle Mawson said...

Don't even get me started on stupid people being allowed to breed.