Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wednesday Evening Rant

I was going to entitle this: LEAVE US ALONE JUST LEAVE US ALONE YOU BLOOD SUCKING GOVERNMENT, but that sounded a bit manic.

Ok, so I didn’t have a chance to do an overview of the Sotomayor questioning yesterday, so here it is now. Since I sat through about 5 painful hours of the blah blah blah, I figured I’d spice it up a little and interpret it for everyone so its not so boring. Please note that SS is for Sonia Sotomayor... not the Nazi death police, just wanted to clear that up, because some people think they’re one and the same... I’m not saying what I think.

Leahy: Do you like chocolate or vanilla ice cream?
SS: 15 minute ramble about sprinkles and how she was the first person to use sprinkles in conjunction with ice cream.
Leahy: So you have experience in both ice cream and sprinkles?
SS: Yes, but I don’t make ice cream or sprinkles.
Leahy: But what about whipped cream? Everyone uses whipped cream and frankly because you don’t use whipped cream they call you a racist, but if you used whipped cream they’d call you an activist.
SS: Yes, I agree. Its not that I don’t like whipped cream, and I’m not a whipped cream racist and not using it, when I can use hot fudge, even when cherries are available its unfair.
Leahy: Everyone hates you and has called you names and those people are evil and should be killed.
SS: I didn’t mean what I said 15 or 20 times.
Leahy: what about guns?
SS: I know people with guns
Sessions: What about Ricci?
SS: What? Oh that thing about testing, no big thing.
Sessions: What?
SS: What? What?
Sessions: What about Roe vs Wade?
SS: I don’t like fish eggs, but I can’t make a decision because I’ve never eaten Wade, but I hear some people like it.
SS: breaks into speaking latin hoping to confuse the senators.
Maloney: Why aren’t nunchucks considered “arms”
SS: because you could swing them around and put out someone’s eye by mistake.
Cardin: I love you, if I weren’t a man I’d want to have your wise latina babies. I don’t have any questions, I’ll just sit here and answer every question you answered yesterday because I’m actually a sheep in human costume.
Specter: I’m pleased to announce that during the Senate recesses I’ll be appearing as the new crypt keeper on HBO, but first I want to ask if you would allow cameras in the supreme court, but I’ll take 15 minutes to ask it so I don’t have to ask any more questions that have already been asked and answered by you in various and sundry different ways each time which made me nauseous but because I’m now a Democrat so I can keep my job I’ll vote for you anyway because I’m a lemming.
Franken: ok, I didn’t watch that clown asking questions because there’s only so much I can tolerate.

So, I fully expect that she’ll be voted in regardless of what she says or does, and if any republicans vote for her, well, I hope their constituents vote their butts out of office. I also think they should have hired John Madden and that stupid board he always wrote on to map the questions.

While all of that hoopla was going on, the Senate Health Committee (surprisingly enough) passed a massed gazillion page healthcare bill (that nobody read) that pretty much costs more than the world could make in a lifetime and will force us into a Government run plan. Whoot, glad I broke my foot before this thing gets through. Instead of wearing a boot, I would have been forced to hack it off with a rusty limb saw because I couldn’t get an appointment. Here’s a picture of how the new healthcare would work, and no, I didn’t make this up, this is straight from the bill as mapped by the GOP... which the Libs will say is wrong, but I challenge someone else to get a copy of the massive bill and map it out and see if its different than this massive boondoggle.

I also have to wonder, while Hillary has been out recovering from her broken elbow, did she have to take 5 days of vacation time before her Short Term Disability benefits kicked in and is she only receiving 80% of her pay like the rest of us? What is her co-pay for the surgery and treatment and how much per month does she have to pay for her insurance. I also want to know if ANY of our elected officials will be under the same healthcare system they are shoving down our throats. If not... WHY?

The economy must be bad because the Scott Trade commercials no longer show the president flying around in a helicopter. The economy must be ultra bad because apparently Wells Fargo is suing itself, the city of Baltimore is suing Wells Fargo and apparently Merrill Lynch (who was bought by Bank of America at the end of a Fed gun) is hiring former UBS employees... you may recall that the IRS is going after UBS because their bank allegedly helped very rich people hide money overseas and the IRS wants theirs.

Yeah, that’s your nationwide roundup for the day.


Anonymous said...

OMG, I'm laughing so hard. The only part of the hearings that you didn't summarize were all of the Dems and their cheerleaders masturbating.

Tracey and Huffle said...

Thank you. I don't need to read the papers. I just come here. And my verification work is crant, which is code for crazy rant, so it works perfectly.