Thursday, July 09, 2009

It just makes me so wully

Every night I come home with a list of rants that I think of throughout the day, but the moment I get home, feed the pups, fix dinner, drag myself up and down the stair 500 times with the boot, then finally plant myself in front of the laptop (which will soon be replaced with a sweet new mondo huge iMac, so the laptop can be more mobile, but I digress), my brain has turned to mush and there’s no energy to rant.

I’m going to try to rant even though I’m brain dead again... so no promises, this could get ugly.

Health care
Hospitals have vowed to cut $155B to help pay for the new healthcare. So, idealistic morons, where do you suppose that money will be coming from? Do ya think the CEOs and board members and all them high muckity mucks will be giving up part of their salary, their cushy perks and comfy offices for the good of the non-insured... yeah, right. Get ready for impossible to make appointments, no more basic services, cleaning your own bed pans, administering your own enemas because the lowly workerbees will get canned, no more greeters, no more candy stripers, no more coffee in waiting rooms, no more clean sheets, screw it all, everything that has to do with care will go to hell before a manager gives up anything. I’m also guessing that my co-pay will go through the roof, my insurance will be so expensive I won’t be able to afford it and I’ll end up on Obamacare in line with the rest of you.

Cyber attack
Hey, did you know that someone did a mondo denial of service attack on government and banking computers around the 4th of July??? Well, of course you didn’t know, because Michael Jackson crap was waaaay more important than real news.

The Stimulus is helpful
I heard a report the other day that said that traffic congestion was the lowest its been in years, and how much better the commute has been for some communities... um, yeah, no shit that’s because so many people are unemployed the road is wide open... that stimulus is helpful.

Stimulus has also been helpful in creating and SAVING jobs, as our reliably delusional Vice President keeps reminding us, especially in states where the approval rating of his boss went from 60% to 49% in a week... which is why our reliably delusional VP (who is suppose to be spearheading the Stimulus fund tracking and the Iraq military pull out) was in Ohio telling its unemployed citizens that the stimulus has saved jobs like... oh a gazillion GOVERNMENT jobs, but F you normal non-government working people. He even said specifically that 2.5 million jobs had been saved or created by the stimulus. Now, call me crazy, but if you can put an actual number to how many jobs were saved or created... then you can provide us with an F’ing line by line list of what jobs exactly were saved or created. Give us some names, places, we want details of these jobs because it could be that someone reading the list is qualified to take over one of those created jobs and get off of unemployment.

The stimulus is also very helpful because its costing us $18M to revamp the recovery.org website because apparently it wasn’t very transparent in telling us where the money goes. $18 MILLION to revamp a web site, when a private entrepreneur has created an iPhone application to track bailouts that you can get for $1.99. I’m pretty sure that app didn’t require a government fed $18M... and you doubt that the government healthcare will be cheap and successful? You are a moron if you do.

The Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse is getting $16M in San Francisco (Ms. Pelosi’s state) in the stimulus bill. Did you know that? That’s one of those pesky “porky” things that Chuck Schumer was snidely ridiculing us for having a problem with. Yep, one of those “drops in a bucket” things we shouldn’t even care about.... because we’ll be footing the bill for other things, we don’t need that pesky $16M like the mouse does.

What’s good for AIG is good for Social Security
Peter Spencer, the head of the Social Security Administration (yes, the totally bankrupted Ponzi Scheme where did our retirement money go agency) stood there with a straight face and told a reporter that the Arizona Biltmore was the ONLY place where 700 managers could go to learn useful manager-type things on the taxpayer dime. Oh yeah, you bitched and moaned about AIG and other companies that took bailout having swanky retreats in fancy places, but did you ever think our very own government would take money straight from you, embezzle your retirement, and then stand there and look you in the eye and say they NEEDED to come to a swank resort to meet?

You want us to what?
We want you to actually read bills before you pass them please. Is it too much to ask that you actually DO the F’ing job you were voted in to do? How can you represent us when you don’t even know what the F you are voting for? Yes we expect you to read the F’ing bills and if you can’t read 1,500 pages of CRAP and Traitor before it goes up for a vote then vote NO. Don’t you dare come back and say “oh gee, I didn’t know the Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse was getting a job when all of Ohio foreclosed on their homes” you FTard, you would have had you DONE YOUR JOB!!!

Czars
We now have more czars than 300 years of russian rule, and each of them are paid over $100,000, get money for their staff and office, and are held accountable by absolutely NOBODY... transparency you can truly count on. Oh, one of them is responsible for spending $18M on revamping the site that is suppose to tell us where the stimulus money is going... good job, way to go!

On a personal note, I’m officially sick and tired of explaining that yes, I broke my foot doing Wii active, stop laughing or you’ll have this boot up your...

I have decided to name my boot (as I name just about everything else, I’d hate to disappoint the boot) and have decided that Larry is the boot’s name. Of course everyone reminded me that since its a Wii injury, the boot should have a Wii-related name, so you can now call the boot Larwii to appease everyone and also remind me that I’m a moron that can’t run in place without injuring myself, thanks.

I would also like to calm the general public who seems to have the very same reaction when they are told that I broke my foot doing Wii, and that is to give me a look of abject horror and declare “but I just bought a Wii for my children” in the same tone of voice as they would say “but I just purchased a poisonous viper for my children!”, as if the Wii would, on its own, leap at them and injure them. Please note that unless your child is in their 40’s, recently quit smoking and hadn’t exercised in 20 years, they’re probably safe.

1 comment:

Tracey and Huffle said...

I thought you had nothing to rant about? That seemed a pretty good list to me.

Can't wait for your magnificent iMac to arrive. We'll be even again.