Saturday, July 18, 2009

Frito-Lay WTF???

The other day hubby and I went to a sandwich shop for lunch. I wanted a bag of potato chips to go with my sandwich, so I grabbed a bag of Lays potato chips... or so I thought.

What with the government concern over the obesity “epidemic” all forms of frying foods in transfat had been banned, therefore we’re now forced to choke down chips cooked in all manner of non-carcinegenic, fattening manners, such as chips fried in water, and soy, which are disgusting and vile. It didn’t surprise me to see that the bag of chips I chose were “baked”, but the “original” stamped on the package assured me that I was getting a tasty Lays chip product, so whatever.

My first clue that something was not right was when I opened the bag and discovered this:

Seriously, WTF is this? This isn’t a potato chip! This is plasterboard, and seriously, that’s what it tasted like too! It was as if some sort of horrible Star Trek transporter malfunction had taken a real potato that had been fried in tasty grease and changed it into some form of potato-chip looking thing that tasted nothing like a potato. It was so faux that if handed one of these things while blindfolded I never would have guessed “potato chip”, I most probably would have spat it out, demanded water to clean my mouth out then called my attorney. I think my exact words were “HOLY MOTHER OF GAH! What the Frick is this????”

That’s when I took a closer look at the bag and found this incriminating bit of info that should have been the font size of the entire bag to announce to the buyer of the “chips” that this bag doesn’t contain CHIPS, it contains CRISPS. WTF??? Crisps? I hate to inform you scum sucking bastards of Frito-Lay, but crisps are English for POTATO CHIPS!!! Made the exact same way that potato chips are suppose to be made, so what the heck is your definition of “crisp”? Bits of reconstituted potato manner shaped in a form that resembles a potato chip that you hope will fool consumers? I can tell you that their look won’t fool anyone and sticking one in their mouth will totally clue them in that they aren’t eating a potato chip.

To further cover their lies, the back contains this bit of info that says that regular potato chips have 10g per 1oz serving, but this bag of “snacks”... SNACKS? You can’t even claim them as a potato product or even a chip, and yet you throw these things in the SAME type of bag that use to contain your tasty potato chips, but add that whole BAKED! thing on there, as if we’re suppose to get all happy and excited and can’t wait to eat them, only to discover that the bag would have been tastier.

I’m tired of being lied to by paid liars. You may call them “marketing” people, but they’re nothing more than a bunch of liars! How can something be “new and improved”? If its new then how can you improve it? Its old and you improved it somehow, most likely by changing the stupid package colors... that doesn’t mean its improved! Stop lying to us, and stop trying to make us think that your craptastic “healthy” junk is tasty or even good for us! Just because you make things less fat doesn’t mean that people are going to lose weight and be healthier. Nope, good news for you is that they’ll just have to eat 40 times more of your product, and they will, but they’ll still get fat and unhealthy and in a few years we’ll all be paying for that with our wonderful government run healthcare... except that potato “crisps” will cost $5,000 with tax.


Krystal said...

Hey know, I like these baked crips!

Tracey and Huffle said...

I think you called chips crisps anyway?

Do you want me to post you some real chips from here?

Painter Pack said...

As a fat person, I like my regular FRIED chips. I mean, honestly...I didn't get this way over one bag of no matter how healthy they make them, I'll just eat more.