Friday, May 15, 2009

Week of Ranting Catch-up Post

First of all, please excuse me as I’ve suffered a horrible Wii injury, I’m in Wii traction and can barely move. Ok, I overdid the Wii boxing game last night and can barely move (making the fact that hubby mistakenly turned on the security system, so when I opened the door to let the dogs outside this morning, the whole creaky painful dash to shut the ear piercing alarm off was exquisite), but enough about me, its time for the catch-up rant of the week.

The government apologizes for Punch and Judy puppets, even though they’re from another country.

Government isn’t getting enough money from existing taxes, so they’re going to tax junk food to help pay for new healthcare plan (except has anyone actually seen a PLAN?). The justification of taxing junk food is that its bad, makes you fat, makes you sick, therefore only EVIL people eat junk food.

Here’s why taxing junk food will help kill the economy further:

1.) The people who have money (from jobs) don’t want to “pay” for everyone else’s healthcare, so they’ll stop buying junk food. (like they did smoking... beautiful Chantix)
2.) People who can’t afford junk food now, certainly can’t afford it now its taxed to death.
3.) Decreased sales of junk food mean that manufacturers lose revenue, meaning junk food workers get laid off, factories get closed, businesses that maintained the factories get laid off, junk food delivery people get laid off, supermarkets make less profit, lay cashiers off.
4.) Expected revenue on snack taxes don’t meet the goals to pay for healthcare plan, so the Government taxes something else, which then sends whatever that is into bankruptcy.

So, you can clearly see that junk food is good for the economy, and just in case, I have a semi truck of Little Debbie products being delivered today.

Someone needs to make a law that makes it illegal to allow cats to roam freely without tags, vaccines, or supervision so they can poop in flower beds and mark their pee on bushes. Oh wait, that’s already a law and nobody follows it, which is why I had to dig cat crap out of my flower bed this week? Yeah, well, then we need to make a law that makes it illegal to.... oh freakin never mind, just keep making up stupid laws that nobody enforces and follows so we can have total chaos and anarchy and cat poop in my flower bed. I think I’ll go apply mascara and trim my toenails while I drive... but I won’t send a text message, cuz that’s illegal.

Here’s a new drinking game: every time a media person says “Controversial” take a drink, because they only use that word to describe something that is a conservative statement, thought, idea, or concept, or is against something Liberals want/like. Listen for it.

No we won’t release torture pictures
Yes, we will release torture pictures
Nope, I’ve made up my mind, no torture pictures

Nothing better than decisive leaders.

Congress just passed a bill that will spend $6.4 BILLION dollars on schools. Now before you do a happy dance that kids will get better educations, teachers will get better pay, books will be purchased or something silly like that... this money only goes to making schools “green”. Pffft, silly you, why would they spend money on actual education? That would be frivolous compared to converting the buildings so they don’t kill the earth.

Nancy Pelosi.... where to even begin with her. I think I’ll just say that its been fun watching the Democrats turn on themselves, but its REALLY gonna get fun now that she’s called an entire administration AND a three-letter agency a pack of liar, liar pants on fires. I’ve got the popcorn at the ready and can’t wait for the next press conference where she claims that aliens kidnapped her and sent a robot to make the last statement. Then I expect the admission that she has a drinking problem after being molested as a child and goes to rehab. That would be one reality show that I actually watch.

4 comments:

Bonnie's Husband said...

I suggest having a stencil made that says something like "I crap in neighbors yards!" or "8 lives and counting." or "Cat, the other white meat!" and spray painting the offending cat with it.

vicki said...

My brother's neighbor lets their cat roam free all over his yard with no tag or any of that. So my brother lets it in his house with his other cat, feeds it, takes care of it till he guy comes looking for it about a week later. Couple of days go by, the cat is out again, this time with a collar and a note attached that says "please don't feed my cat". So my brother takes the cat and puts a reply "then keep him in your own damn yard". i heart my brother.

Tracey and Huffle said...

Huffle Mawson does not roam free. She only goes outside to her parsley pot in our back yard. Hopefully she will be safe from Bonnie's Husband :)

Maybe you need to buy some shoes. It certainly improved my outlook on life this week.

jen said...

did the wii fit tell you that there's a certain way you punch so that you don't torque your shoulder or hyperextend your elbow????

(says the taebo-junkie pastor's wife)