Tuesday, May 19, 2009

New Standards We can all be forced to live by

I chuckled with bemusement as the new emission and mileage standards were announced today. By 2016 cars will have to get over 30mpg and not emit noxious greenhouse gasses or something. The bailed out automakers stood behind the President and smiled and nodded and clapped and thought it was all wonderful... mostly due to the fact that if they didn’t, they’d get no more bailout and they are owned by the government now, so what else are they going to do. Flying car that runs off of banana peels, you betcha Mr. President, now can I have a cookie for being such a good dog?

This morning I caught the gist of the announcement from a white house puppet who said this would be wonderful, the people will save gazillions of dollars, the earth would be clean, the government would give a “cash for clunker” incentive to those selfish polluting hold outs, and life will be good. A blue bird actually landed on her shoulder and sang for a bit. The spokespuppet actually said that this was SUCH a big announcement, that people were flying in from all over to attend the event. I’m sure they were flying in on their non-polluting, electric planes so they didn’t harm the ozone.

Here’s my problem:

In 2016 when I drive my 2005 RAV4 to the emission testing station because I refuse to buy the $40,000 skateboard with tin foil that only goes to 15mph for 3 miles before I have to plug it into a socket, will I be told that my SUV doesn’t meet the new 2016 emission standards and therefore:

1.) I can’t drive it until it does meet the standard (meaning cha ching, tons of money)
2.) I will be given a waiver to drive it that costs me a gazillion dollars per year tax for polluting
3.) I will watch as my RAV4 is confiscated by the emission czar, and I’m handed a $200 clunker cash coupon good toward the purchase of a $40,000 tin foil covered skateboard, while my RAV4 is sold by the government to Cuba where it will merrily continue to pollute Cuba.

In regard to this “cost savings” I keep hearing about. From my limited understanding, a “hybrid” car that runs on both batteries and gas only uses the battery when the car goes really slow , and when it goes fast it uses the gas engine part. So, I drive 8 miles to work, 7.5 of those miles are on highway at speeds up to 65 mph (ok, who am I fooling, we’re looking at 70-80 just to keep from getting squished in Maryland). Would someone please tell me how much I would save by buying a hybrid under those conditions. As far as a fully electrical car, I can barely pay to keep my house cool or hot enough during the seasons, so when that funny little cap and trade thing comes along, I’m certainly not going to want to plug my car into the house and deal with that bill... are you freaking kidding me? I’m guessing that in a few years, not only will gas be cheaper than electricity, but since everyone will need to plug in their cars and we haven’t upgraded our electrical grids to handle the added workload, we’ll be shorting out entire big cities around 6pm every night when everyone gets home from work and plugs their car in. Oh wait, I forgot, we’ll have wind and solar power by then AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA

Now for a new section: Hypocrisy in Action:

* Nancy Pelosi is a liar, liar pants on fire
* The not so secret VP bunker is under the Naval Observatory where he lives, so says Joe
* Once again: Social Security $ spend on something else, why is Madoff in jail?
* Car Czar building $15 million dollar mansion in Martha’s Vineyard... must be nice
* Obama: Bailed out Companies shouldn’t go to Vegas, but the Govt is gonna have a blast in Vegas next week, yeeeehaw!!!!
* Democrats mocking Republicans because they use Reagan as a beacon and say that the future leaders weren’t even born when Reagan was around... yet they use Lincoln as their example... um.

4 comments:

Tracey and Huffle said...

Hybrid cars are crap. I speak from experience.

Bonnie's Husband said...

I understand there is a large correlation between Hybrid car ownership and ownership of Apple computers...Ok I made that up...but it seems plausible.

Oh and Tracey...sorry about the cat comments....I actually LOVE cats, I just cannot eat a whole one...(rimshot). sorry again...but I have 22 dogs what do you expect.

Anonymous said...

Amen... Why IS Madoff in jail and not the entire government? Hmmmm?

Krystal said...

Here's my motto on this whole government crap:
We're all going to hell in a handbasket with a pretty little ribbon tied on the top!

Here's why, humans make mistakes, then we try to cover those mistakes which in turn makes those mistakes 10 times worse.
And not many humans, mainly those who work for the states/government, cannot admit when something is down right wrong.

Money IS the root of all evil in my eyes, thank God I'm a hippie in Alaska.