Sunday, April 26, 2009

Now Where Was I?

Oh yeah, I was bitching about something probably. Well, here’s a continuation (as if you expected anything less). For some reason my computer is typing very slow, either that or I’ve somehow developed superhuman powers that allow me to type so fast that the computer can’t keep up with me. Its very annoying (I just had to wait a full minute to type that it was annoying because the computer is so slow.)

Anyhoo, (by the way, closing some of my million open applications seems to have sped it up), as you can tell I’m still a bit scatterbrained and frankly I think that I was probably that way all along, but the nicotine of smoking opened brain cells or fed them or something, giving me the appearance of intelligence and concentration... I’m thinking that instead of giving kids rytalin, they should let them smoke. (I’d also like to point out that I tried spelling Rytalin 15 different ways, which were all wrong, but somehow managed to spell it correctly for a google search, oops, there I go again).

I got a newsletter from my Congressman, who apparently thinks its just spiffy keen to spend taxpayer’s money willy nilly. You can only imagine the sound of my head exploding when I was reading all about the “no Child Left Inside” initiative that cost us all a gazillion bucks to teach kids all about global warming. Hey, how about we decide whether or not this crap is even real first before we start teaching poor Johnny, who can’t read in the first place, all about mercury laden lightbulbs and becoming the “American Youth” and turning his parents in for not sorting their trash (that ends up in the same landfill no matter how well you sort it and put it into different “special” containers). I’m all for a “no child left inside abandoned refrigerators” or a “no child left inside a hot car in summer” but for the love of GAH, the little brats can’t even count change back at their fast food joint after school gigs to afford to buy weed, and you want them to learn about wind turbines?

Oh, and about the whole recycling thing that you spend a gazillion hours a week carefully rinsing and sorting all of your paper and metal and crap and putting them in special bins on the curb, did you know that your recycling center is taking your trash and selling it? Yep, there use to be recycling centers where people could take their paper, cans, and junk and trade it in for a few bucks, so there was a little something you got at the end of the month, but NOOOO, your local government said “hey, why don’t we make the people do that, but GIVE it to us in the name of saving the earth, then we’ll take all of their stuff in bulk and get a ton of money and blow it on fancy staff cars for us and tax the shit out of them for other junk.

Yeah, hahaha, jokes on us.

P.S. non-smoking update: still not smoking and now I can almost walk down a street and not want to bash the head in of a smoker and take their smoke... almost.

P.S.S. Of course I would never bash in someone’s head for a smoke... that’s why I have a weapon.

P.S.S.S. Of course I would never use my weapon to harm anyone unless they were physically breaking into my house and then only in self defense and I hope the bastard has a smoke on them so I can have one while I’m waiting for the police.

P.S.S.S.S. no really, I hope they bring some smokes.


vicki said...

fyi, if they try to run away with the smokes you gotta yell something to get them to turn around before attacking them for their smokes or you'll be the one behind bars, which isn't so bad from what i hear...3 squares, tv, internet, time to work out...

jen said...

maybe it's good that i'm in montana and you're somewhere on the eastern seaboard? i wouldn't want to meet you on the street if i was anywhere near a cigarette.