Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The General Rant

First of all, Chantix... what the hell are you smoking?

And now for the rant:

There was a car wreck at a car race (I’ll pause a moment while you soak that newsflash in) and people are now concerned for the safety of people sitting right next to the track and whether the flimsy chain link fence is enough protection... stop laughing, this is serious!

Ok: 1.) Car races are clogging the ozone with CO2 emissions and cause global warming so where’s big head ALGORE bitching about shutting them down and

B.) If people are too stupid to sit away from speeding cars, then screw them.

The whole swine flu thing... Janet I’m a dumbass Napalotano or however you spell her name said, and I quote: “Why should we close the borders... the flu is already in the states, besides it would affect commerce”. Translation: I’m a moron and didn’t think that not ALL of the contiguous United States was affected and by stopping infected people before they come in we may slow the spread and contain it, but noooooo, we can’t have people NOT going to Disney and spending money (that their uncle Illardo worked under the table in the U.S. to mail to them). Ok, if that logic doesn’t work, then how about: if you don’t close the borders then all of the taxpayers will get sick and die and there will be nobody left to pay for your stupid “No Child Left Inside” crap. I bet that gets them moving.

Acting CDC person (because we don’t have a real one, therefore we have a stand-in who forgets his lines and misses his cue) says not to come into work if you feel sick and cover your mouth. Thanks mom, great advice. Um, unfortunately in the REAL world, people only get about 3 vacation days a year and that includes sick time, so they come into work with severed appendages, projective vomiting isn’t going to stop them from showing up and infecting the rest of the building. Frankly if I get it, I’m hunting down the moron coming into work and using HIS/HER vacation days.

News people and Government officials (real and actors) are puzzled over why so many people have died in Mexico but so far (knock on wood) nobody has died in the states. Oh really. Come on, get some balls and say it... ok, I will:
because we have a much better capitalistic healthcare system than the socialized piece of crap health care system in Mexico???? Just a guess. But we can’t admit that, it would tip the balance of the earth so far right people would be thrown into outer space.

Speaking of acting government types, apparently that incompetent White House press secretary Gibbs said that the swine flu response was not hindered by not having a Health and Human Services head... fantastic! That means we didn’t need one in the first place, so lets save some taxpayer money and not hire a new person and just have whoever was handling it in the first place do it for whatever crappy pay they were already getting. That happens all the time in the public sector, its called a “promotion”.

When asked about the New York City Air Force One incident yesterday, Gibbs referred reporters to the White House.... UM.... hello? Speaking of Scare Force One... how much did that photo cost the taxpayers. Doesn’t anyone on the Government payroll know Photoshop?

If the government takes over GM (Government Motors.... how appropriate, they won’t even have to spend $1.2 million for a new brand), its doomed for failure. How many people would buy a car from the government? Besides, nobody could afford it after the cost over-runs and the contractors put the trunk in the back seat and the engine is an optional accessory. I hope I get to write the manual for that one, I predict at least a 7,000 pager with pretty pictures... it’ll fit in the trunk that’s in the back seat.

5 comments:

Painter Pack said...

**Bows to your greatness**

Girl, you said a mouthful of truth!! I would give anything if you had your own talk show!! It would be a hit for sure!!!

And the Scare Force One publicity stunt cost about $350,000. I guess they will have to raise taxes to cover it!

Sherri

Tracey and Huffle said...

Swine flu. Bah. People who are generally healthy do not have to worry. I'm too busy laughing over the rest to comment :)

jen said...

i'm already in favor beating people who come to work sick and infect others. one of my co-workers gave me strep throat while i was pregnant and it took all my self-control not to mace her with lysol.

Dave said...

We need to work on getting you syndicated.

You ARE funny!

Bonnie's husband

Anonymous said...

Amen. Although I will say that my boss isn't too keen on working from home (because he can't?), and pitched a small fit when I worked from home for a week during the flu. Still got my work done, but wasn't there in person.... And didn't miss a week of work....

Maybe next time I should come in and throw up on him?