Sunday, April 05, 2009

Chantix, I love you

If I wasn’t spayed I’d certainly offer to have Chantix’s babies. Heck I could also be doing that surrogate thing and just selling babies for money. I should have considered that before I had the doctor take a melon baller to my reproductive organs. Who knew that human puppy mills would be the rage new “at home” business.

As you can see, this won’t be a whole rant about sucking ass lozenges, as I’m no longer doing that. Nope, I’m polluting my kidneys with the lovely Chantix (which doesn’t pain me so), and am only feeling a tad bit anxious on it.

The morning that I started, I’m glad I had it because I woke up and my mouth tasted as though someone had poured an entire container of celery salt in my mouth. SERIOUSLY, it was the most foul taste I’ve ever tasted (well, actually, now that you mention it, there are a few others) but for no reason waking up and tasting like celery salt... so totally vile and wrong.

I haven’t had too many issues with the Chantix yet, although I did clear the room the other day, but it was only my husband, so that doesn’t count. The dogs haven’t tried to roll on me like a dead thing, so I think I’ll be manageable this time around. I am snacking, so we went to Costco and bought tasty but non fattening things that we’ll end up eating entire containers of, thus defeating the whole non-fattening aspect of them. So far I’ve become addicted to the fruit chew things that are nice and gooey, but not AS chewy as gummi bears, and aren’t AS laden in sugar as gummi bears. We also bought some fruit... in the form of banana nut muffins, and nuts... in the form of some form of pecan muffins. Ok, we bought apples and pears too, so shut up. I also bought the big bulk thing of Orbit (dirty mouth... you betcha).

I have started having pretty vivid dreams, but nothing like killing or maiming people. So far there was the one where I lost one of our dogs, but found her (she was following someone that had food) and then there was the one where I got a $300 bill for driving drunk, but I didn’t drive drunk, so I woke up exhausted from screaming at DMV. Can’t wait for tonight’s episodes!!!

What with all this quitting things I don’t actually need in my life, I’m going through a phase where I’m all like “hmmm, what else can I dump?” So I’m doing some soul searching, and some very major procrastination, and avoidance techniques to see what I do now, that I won’t do for a while, and if I can just stop doing it and nobody notices, then I’ll just not do it at all anymore. I’m very excited about this “soul cleansing” thing, as I do a whole bunch of stuff that takes up a LOT of my time and leaves me hardly any time to cartoon, write (as in serious writing, but not writing seriously, you know serious things, except for general political rants about stupidity... note to self, explaining stuff is something I need to stop doing as it wastes time), so yeah, I’m doing a mental yard sale, where none of the crap I give up will get me any money, but it will leave me time to do the things that I can make money from, and frankly, that’s what I’m all about from now on... you can send me a check for this post as soon as you’re done reading it... just kidding.... sorta.

Oh, and I felt so good and motivated and all that crap this morning, that I bathed Meeshka... see her blog for the gory details... well, wait an hour, she hasn’t posted it yet.


Tracey and Huffle said...

Who knew Chantix could be so life changing?

Can't wait to see the Penny renovation in full swing :)

Krystal said...

Just wanted to let you know that thanks to you and a 40% tax increase of tobacco here in Alaska today will be my last day of lighting up. Keep in touch your funny words of encouragement will sure help me along my way!

chantix said...

Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects. Many people using this medication do not have serious side effects.