Sunday, March 01, 2009

I'm 7 and hoping the schools are closed

Let me put my teeth in, hitch up my bathrobe and tell you young whipper snappers how it was when I was a kid and we went to school during blizzards. None of this pansy ass school closed because of 1 flake crap, ooooooooh noooooo, we walked to school in snow up to our noses, chipped out frozen toes out of equally frozen boots and walked to our next class on blue frozen nubs of ankles.

Blizzard of ‘76, yep, we had like 2 whole days of school off and that’s only because nobody could find the school, it was completely covered in snow. Some asshat actually found the door, dug a tunnel and next thing you know, we’re chipping our frozen blue noses off and crawling to class on frozen blue knee nubs.

Fast forward a gazillion years and I land in Maryland. Here, someone with dandruff shakes their head and schools are immediately cancelled for a week and martial law is declared. People drive 95 mph to the grocery store to buy milk, bread, toilet paper, eggs, and rotisserie chickens (for some stupid reason), then on the way back they crash into each other causing massive road blocks of twisted metal and carcasses... then no snow.

Both hubby and my workplaces have snow phone numbers. Ok, his actually has a blog, which makes his snow “number” a tad bit cooler than mine. Each have their own color coded thing to tell you what to do... except they are different colors, and mean different things.

So, like green is open, get your butt in right now, don’t wanna hear any whining.

Yellow (for my peoples) is a delay of some kind, typically 2 hours... which means now instead of people trickling in at their normal times, everyone crams through the gates at the same time, making life... fun. Hubby’s secondary one is Blue, and they get to use their discretion about coming in or not... after you ask your daddy (supervisor).

Red is the common: OHMYGAWD DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING IN ITS HORRIBLE code.

So, here we sit, hitting redial (or refresh) waiting for that nice code red to come up. Come on red, puhleeeeze red. I’m also refreshing weather.com and watching the map in motion and reading while giggling how we’re suppose to get up to 10 inches (a veritable blizzard for these parts... the whole state will be closed for a month, even if the snow melts the next day).

Of course, if our respective places of business are closed, we either have to find something work-related to do, or take vacation. Hmmm. Government is trying to pass yet another gazillion dollar bailout for something, people who couldn’t afford their homes in the fist place are getting their mortgages paid off, the rest of my money goes to “benefits” and whatever is left after that is taxed.

Remind me again why I’m lucky to have a job?

1 comment:

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

My mom is not khoncerned one bit this week...

We did have to put the trash out tonight since she's hoping to be still blissfully asleep tomorrow mid-day!

Here's hoping the khorrekht kholour khomes up on the roulette wheel!

H&K,
Khyra