Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Heaving Sigh

Been a bit unmotivated lately. Here are some snippets of the news and what I think, it probably explains the lack of motivation:

Through the flood of e-mails from friends, I gather the following about our Presidential candidates:

If McCain/Palin win abortion and birth control will be outlawed and we’ll all be forced to shoot and field dress our own food. That won’t matter, as we’ll go to war with every nation except Mexico because everyone from Mexico is already in the states.

If Obama/Biden win our taxes will be raised to the point where we just sign our paychecks over to the government, but people without jobs will be given everything they need, including your house. That won’t matter because while Obama is talking to other nations, they’ll be invading our shores.

Clay Aiken is gay.... who cares.

Lindsey Lohan is a lesbian... guys care and want to watch

The government is considering forking over a TRILLION dollars of taxpayer money to bail out failing businesses. This actually makes me feel good because now my Amex balance seems almost comical.

PETA wants Ben & Jerry’s to make ice cream with human breast milk

If you managed to stop throwing up over that last one... David Blaine is hanging upside for some amount of time to... who freaking knows, and its not like he’s hanging all the time, he gets water breaks, so its nothing short of stupid

Facebook changed, now everyone is confused and angry... wow!

Its a wonder I’m able to get out of bed every morning

Thursday, September 18, 2008

This Can't Be A Good Sign

Tonight while I was driving home from work, a pigeon swooped into traffic, smashed itself into the side of the car in front of me (that was traveling 50 mph), exploded in a flurry of feathers and was propelled by its own momentum into oncoming traffic. Pigeon suicide.

Two things crossed my mind:
1.) this can’t be a good sign
2.) what made it do that?

Could the pigeon have looked at its online 401K statement and felt that flying into a car was the only alternative?

At least it was a pigeon and not a stock broker. I’d mourn more for the pigeon though.

My husband is currently ranting about the sheet he received from the “sleep disorder” clinic. He’s never been able to sleep well, so he finally went to the doctor who referred him to the sleep disorder clinic. Before bed he’s suppose to either:

read a boring book
write in a journal

He’s claiming that these are women things, men don’t read books and they don’t journal. I can see how this is going to be a rousing success. I think I’ll get some ice cream to eat in bed so at least I have something tasty to eat while he’s ranting about not sleeping.