Saturday, February 23, 2008

Damn Them Shows

Goaded by those “do it yourself” shows I’ve been watching lately, I had gotten in the mood to make my kitchen look less 1970. Consulting a friend of mine on the proper way to actually paint over laminate, we determined that a few coats of primer, then a nice semi-gloss would do the trick and turn my off white laminate counter door fronts into brown.

Ok, so its going well, slowly, but well as the brown paint takes a LOOONG time to dry versus the two coats of primer. In between drying stages, hubby and I pondered the old furniture upstairs and what we could do to make that area an actual living room, versus a willy nilly dump for crappy old pee stained furniture. (Please note, we have dogs therefore it is not US that is peeing on the furniture... just wanted to be clear on that)

In a fit of exuberance, I made a bulk garbage pick up appointment and we hauled EVERYTHING out of the living room and onto the curb. Free of all furniture, it seems the perfect time to steam clean the carpet and paint up there now. Hubby wants all white. Um, boring, but ok, whatever, that’s fine. Now in between priming and painting the kitchen cupboard doors, I’m also priming the entryway and living room. I must say that I’m doing this gleefully for some reason, as change is good, the color may have been a bit gloomy (sand... its sorta brown, sorta green, but not really any known color at all). The house is in total disarray, half-assed primed, cupboard doors off in the kitchen, spackle spots all over the walls that need sanding and no furniture in the living room. Oh, did I mention the gigantic stinky pee spot where the couch use to be... yeah, that’s nasty and requires some major stink remover, which one of the dogs decided to roll himself in, thus transferring the stink remover smell and the pee smell to his entire body.

Why don’t they have home owners chasing their dogs to bathe them after rolling in pee and stink remover on those home remodeling shows? Why don’t they show the home owner backing into a freshly primed wall, leaving a remarkable butt print on the wall? Why don’t they show the home owners running out of primer and leaving the entryway half done for a week until the weekend gets here, which is the only time they have to do their home remodeling crap? Where are my workmen with the fancy tools and unending strength and stamina? Why am I popping Ibuprofen because the arms only used for typing are ready to fall off from rolling on primer?

It looks so simple on tv.

P.S. I just want to say that the oderless KILZ primer actually does smell... like dirty feet, really dirty feet, its NASTY and not only is it nasty smelling, but its oil-based and impossible to get off of anything, so just go with the regular latex stinky version of KILZ if you use that brand, you’ll thank me later.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Just a test

Testing to see if MacJournal will upload images to blogger... nope, still doesn’t do that

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I Don't Like Wind

Our winter has... sucked. We really haven’t even had a winter. Sure, there was snow for about 10 minutes, then it melted and got to 60 degrees, but for the most part its been more spring than winter all winter.

Instead of the nice fluffy snow closing work and schools and getting us a day off, we’ve had wind. I hate wind. I have trees in the backyard and frankly they don’t look like very sturdy trees. We had them pruned recently, and thankfully because we’ve had some wind storms that rival some hurricanes. Nice 55 mph gusts that rattle everything and fling your garbage can lid miles down the road, never to be seen again. Not only do your recycle items disappear from your bin, but large branches come tumbling down off the not very sturdy looking trees.

I sit and wait for that tell tale crash of a tree in our house. I say its only a matter of time and the tree is trying to pick the most inconvenient time to hurl itself into the roof of our house, destroying the wonderful new deck, and perhaps even ripping off the entire kitchen. Ok, while a major inconvenience I would forever be rid of those nasty cupboards, but is it worth the hassle?

My biggest fear is having the dogs outside and having a huge branch fall and squish or impale them. That’s a HUGE fear of mine, one the dogs sense because the moment I decide that I need them to come inside before an entire tree falls and impales and squishes them... they decide to ignore me and play. Oh yeah, there I am, screaming for them to come into the house the very second, you get in here, come here, come here!!! They are laughing at me and chasing each other around the massive parts of trees that have already fallen. Oh its great fun for them to totally ignore my shrieking and dancing. At one point I ran into the house, got a slice of bread (something they usually can’t resist) and was shrieking, dancing, and waving a slice of bread.

I’m sure that our neighbors feel we could possibly be mentally disturbed and perhaps a tad bit dangerous from our strange yard rituals:

chasing a dog that caught an adult squirrel around the yard while wearing a robe and rubber boots

chasing a dog that caught a mole, who then passes it to another dog, and then over to another dog like precision soccer players, while wearing a robe and rubber boots.

Standing in the yard in a robe and no boots screaming “DON’T EAT THE POOP”

Kneeling in the yard wearing a robe, rubber boots and rubber gloves while sifting through poop to see if the (insert strange item here) has passed safely through the digestive tract.

So, I’m guessing that the shrieking, frantic neighbor waving a slice of bread is just another day in wackytown.

They did eventually come in, one at a time, laughing at me and getting their bread treat. Now I let them out one at a time, and this makes them very angry.

The wind is suppose to be dying down soon. Soon isn’t soon enough for me.

Friday, February 08, 2008

No surprise here

You Are Ani Difranco!

Honest, real, and well liked.

You're not limited by any boundaries.

"And you can call me crazy

But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall"