Thursday, December 11, 2008


Its been raining all day, its cold, its dreary, and yes, I was totally unmotivated at work, and here I stare at the computer.

The blank space above is to signify my staring. I could have done a cartoon, but that would have been productive, and since this week I’ve declared myself unproductive, would have gone against my declaration.

Ok, so during the week I jot down random thoughts meaning to blog in great detail about them, but that would be productive, so here they are in no order whatsoever and probably rambling:

1.) Some group has declared that livestock cause the majority of all global warming. I guess those that argue that global warming happens once in a while through the dawn of man... and since man nor dinosaurs drove fossil fuel burning cars during some of these times, we have to share the blame with something else, so why not flatulent cows. The problem with this theory is that back in the old western days, cows, buffalos and all manner of grass eating and tasty beasts roamed all over the freakin place, and while cowboys drove horses and not Fords, I would think that if cows created global warming that the earth would have been nothing but a scorched ball back in the good old days of free range cows. I think there’s a conspiracy here, one that is trying to get us to believe that if cows are the downfall of the earth... that we need to outlaw cows and therefore we should all become vegetarians. I smell a PETA hand in this (I prefer to spell it PITA, which stands for Pain In The Ass). I counter this with the fact that trees and flowers and vegetables are oxygen giving plants that cleanse all the crap from the air and give us breathable air, therefore vegetarians are endangering our air by eating these plants, so we should send them to Mars.

2.) Car Czar? Water Czar? What, is this Russia now? Three months ago the car company big wigs flew in their fancy jets and asked for money. The House told them to go back home and sit in a corner and come up with a plan and maybe we would give them money. A month goes by and the car big wigs drive hybrid cars to testify that they had a plan, it sucked, they still wanted money. The House said “oh, ok, here have 15 billion dollars, but you have three months to be profitable and to make sure of that we’ll appoint a Car Czar to make sure you are profitable, but if you aren’t, then you have to give us all that money back”. Hmm, if I got 15 billion dollars and had three months to spend it, and if I didn’t make money I would have to file for bankruptcy... that means that 15 billion is gone... numbnuts House. The only reason the House wants this crappy bailout to pass is because most of the people voting for it won’t be around to be blamed for when the car companies spend another 15 billion of OUR money and still go under... the month before our taxes are due. Yeah, can you imagine that? Doing your taxes in April after learning that the “Big 3” car makers blew 15 billion dollars in three months and have nothing to show for it. Yeah, that’ll go over big. let them tank now, get it over with and just give me the 15 billion.

3.) A “group” in Florida is scouting out vacant houses that have been foreclosed, and when they are sure nobody is around, they move homeless families in them and they pretty much take the house for free. Um... can someone please explain to me why I’m still paying my mortgage? Can they also explain to me why nobody has arrested this “group”?

4.) Nancy Pelosi uses a military 757 to fly all over the place when she wants to for “security issues”. Ok, I can understand that... but wouldn’t it be cheaper to haul her around in a nice tank. Her “minions” could at least throw eggs at the tank to show their displeasure.

5.) Carlos Gutierrez, Secretary of Commerce on why we need to bail out the auto industry (his exact words, not making this up) “Because if we don’t, it would be bad. Give that man a raise.

6.) Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon got a raise (in this crappy economy) and said she needed it because she worked really really hard and has a kid in college... then said that she would donate the difference to charity the next day. I’m guessing that during her limo ride to work her constituents made it clear that they thought she didn’t work THAT hard.

7.) Hey, did you know that although there is a dollar limit on how much companies can donate to actual campaigns, there is no dollar limit to how much they can donate to political conventions? Wanna take a wild guess at who contributed to those conventions and then came begging for money from you, the taxpayer? Still want to bail them out?

Ok, I think I’ll go up and see if Nancy Grace’s head is spinning with glee over the discovery of that poor little kid’s bones in Florida. I swear, that vulture needs a drool cup when she goes on and on about that horrid little soap opera.

1 comment:

Tracey and Huffle said...

Despite the spiders and the snakes and the crocodiles and all the other killer creatures here, you totally need to come and hide out Down Under for a bit. Laugh at your country from a distance like we do.