Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Year Ramble

New Year’s eve was such a blast. Fancy dinner, all dressed up, then dancing and drinking to a live band, confetti and optimistic good hopes.

Ok, who am I fooling, we stayed home because it was freezing and the wind was blowing small farm yard animals all over the state. Ok, who am I fooling again, even if it was 90 degrees and no wind, we’d probably still stay home.

I vowed to stay awake to ring in the New Year, hoping for a much better New Year, as opposed to the last fucked up New Year of last year, where my 401K is now worth the jar of coins we have upstairs, and all manner of corruption and crap made for a bad 365. I wanted to see that clock strike midnight, the ball fall and zillions of people in New York kissing and getting stuck on someone’s face because it was freaking cold out there, and the Dick Clark animatronic slurring a “Happy New Year” to one and all... except I fell asleep.

I just lay down for like 5 minutes to watch Terminator, like the original Terminator, you know, the one where Sarah Conner has the big hair and the special effects are lame. You didn’t realize just how bad the special effects were until about 50 years later, and then you watch it and go “damn, that’s lame”. Yeah, so about the time I said “damn, that’s...zzzzzzzz”

Woke up at 6:30 am when the dogs wanted breakfast. Fed them and went back to bed until 9:30, so that’s probably a whole 12 hours of sleep right there. Yeah, this year is so much different than last year already.

Ok, its different in that today I’ve been on some kind of Donna Reed productivity day thing. I have no idea what’s up with that, other to say that I managed to re-arrange all of my cabinets, put in new shelf liners, throw out a bunch of junk we never use, used and it was almost gone and for some reason we kept a mostly empty container, discovered that we have no less than 14 cans of air freshener in various and sundry foresty smells, an overabundance of steam cleaner formulas (enough to steam clean the Kennedy center), cleaned the trash can, finally put up the doors to the cupboards that I painted over a year ago and never put back up (then had to relearn to open the stupid doors to get something instead of jamming my fingers on the door), then I made dinner and baked oatmeal cookies. I’m a wild woman! Next thing you know I’ll shave my legs... nah.

After resting for a minute or two, I went into the ghastly back room and cleaned the bejezus out of there too. Hung all of the yard implements on hooks on the walls, put all of the painting supplies away (even though I haven’t finished painting the upstairs, which now comes in a charming half white half primer motif with glaring spots of missed both all over).

I (for the most part) caught up on a bunch of e-mails except for the stuff that I’m so totally avoiding because I just don’t want to deal with it), read blogs, read the news, read more e-mails, answered private Facebook e-mails, but ignored all of the “requests” because accepting a “new year’s eve” invite now seems a bit... stupid. Did some laundry, a few loads of dishes, drank two lattes and a few pots of coffee, ate the oatmeal cookies and shared some with the pups, and now I’m downstairs blaring my iPod to drown out the sound of the local fireworks display because yesterday they couldn’t have them, and if Meeshka could hear them, she’d be clawing my leg... she’s asleep... thanks to “Tainted Love” playing full blast (that is what is on right now... not over and over and over).

So, now that I probably made you feel totally inadequate for laying in bed hung over and only leaving to hurl up whatever it was you drank in mass quantities last night, I would like to point out the following link where annoying words are being banned.

The Lake Superior State University Words to be banished from the Queens English for mis-use, over-use and General Uselessness

While I agree, for the most part, with all of their selections, I feel that something else needs to be added for the safety and sanity of the world... the use of “i” before a word. Sure its a blatant pile on used by everyone to fool people into believing that their product is somehow used with an Apple product. Apple came out with the ultra cool iMac, then iPod, then, iPhone, people use iTunes, and other “i” Apple products, but soon everyone was jumping on the “i” bandwagon. Most of these gizmos were things that were meant to be used with a cool Apple item, but then it got totally out of hand. For the love of gawd I actually bought an iCrate. An iCrate? What makes it an “i” crate? Why the “i”????? WHY????

Excuse me, I have to go iPoop on my iToilet now.

1 comment:

Tracey and Huffle said...

Okay the whole cleaning thing is totally freaking me out. Just stop it right now.