Sunday, August 10, 2008

Weekly Rambling

I really need to find a job where I can blog during work hours so I can keep up with the thoughts in my head.

1.) We've had an invasion of little red ants in our kitchen. They invaded my lucky charms, they were climbing on the cabinets, very annoying. The last straw was opening the simple human trash can and seeing the contents moving around. There was a whole ant reunion party going on in there. Since we have dogs and since I don't want to poison my dogs, I tried putting cornstarch baby powder at the bottom of the door (where the ant congo line was forming) and they just figured a way around that, so toxic spray was the only way to go. Since I didn't have toxic spray, I squirted some Skintastic mosquito spray on them. I figured it would just piss them off and make them go away, but actually it killed them on contact. Hey, cool! So, if you want to kill ants and don't want to poison your dogs or cats, use Skintastic on ants. They're dead, mosquitos will stay away and it has that lovely smell.

2.) I caught a summer cold (that I'm still blowing green crap out of my nose, and yes I know its probably a sinus infection, just shut up I'm in denial), and realized that out of the shelves and shelves of over the counter medication out there, there's never anything that totally fits the symptoms of your cold. I wish they had Garanimal drugs for people, mix and match stuff that you could take for your symptoms. I'll have 1 runny nose, 1 sneezing, 1 watery eyes, but no cough and no aches please.

3.) I saw a commercial for "The National Review" which stated "Liberal Democrats are readier than ever..." Readier? Doesn't that just sound totally wrong. Not "as ready as ever", readier... liberal democrats are morons. (Author note: This last part was suppose to read "... and liberal democrats are morons?" but apparently in my lack of sleep, over the counter medicated state, totally botched that ending and apologize to Michelle and the other tree hugging liberal democrats for not making it perfectly clear that I think "The National Review" isn't even fit to use as toilet paper)

4.) Some moron on FOX news was complaining that ICE raids deny the rights of illegal aliens. Um... if they are illegal THEN THEY DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS.

5.) Nancy Pelosi... when did she become Queen and rule the U.S.?

6.) The Orlando Anthony family - I'm pretty sure that this whole missing kid thing is just a totally elaborate reality tv show joke on the entire world. Nobody could be that stupid, gullible, and so over the top whack job. If it isn't a cruel joke on the world, then the kid is certainly dead, the mother did it, and grandma will still think that it was a conspiracy.

7.) Olympic athlete denied a visa to China because of the athlete's outspoken opinion about China's involvement in Darfur. Um, if you are there to run a race, shut up and run and do the politic crap in your non-running times.

8.) Bret Favre... who cares.

9.) Electro shock therapy is the new rage in depression treatment. The side effect: short term memory loss.... hmmm, that might make work a bit more bearable actually, where do I sign up?

10.) Osteen lawsuit. I'm sure Ms. Osteen was a bitch and threw a hissy in first class, but causing the flight attendant to get hemorrhoids? mmmmm nah. I'm sure the flight attendant will win anyway.

That's your weekly news wrap up.


Tracey and Huffle said...

The trouble I have with some of your posts is I don't know half the people you are referring to! So I have to go and google them to find out. I'm getting such an education.

Michelle said...

Wait wait. How exactly am I---as a card-carrying liberal Democrat---a "moron" because the freaking National Review is grammatically incorrect? There isn't a more conservative rag out there, unless it's owned by Rupert Murdoch. Really, Penny, blame the victim why don't you. I'm ready to argue on principle with pretty much anything NR has to suggest about my personal readiness for anything, I assure you.

I'm also ready to cream-pie the ever-living crap out of Jonah Goldberg should I ever be so lucky as to encounter the man, but that's another post.