Sunday, February 10, 2008

I Don't Like Wind

Our winter has... sucked. We really haven’t even had a winter. Sure, there was snow for about 10 minutes, then it melted and got to 60 degrees, but for the most part its been more spring than winter all winter.

Instead of the nice fluffy snow closing work and schools and getting us a day off, we’ve had wind. I hate wind. I have trees in the backyard and frankly they don’t look like very sturdy trees. We had them pruned recently, and thankfully because we’ve had some wind storms that rival some hurricanes. Nice 55 mph gusts that rattle everything and fling your garbage can lid miles down the road, never to be seen again. Not only do your recycle items disappear from your bin, but large branches come tumbling down off the not very sturdy looking trees.

I sit and wait for that tell tale crash of a tree in our house. I say its only a matter of time and the tree is trying to pick the most inconvenient time to hurl itself into the roof of our house, destroying the wonderful new deck, and perhaps even ripping off the entire kitchen. Ok, while a major inconvenience I would forever be rid of those nasty cupboards, but is it worth the hassle?

My biggest fear is having the dogs outside and having a huge branch fall and squish or impale them. That’s a HUGE fear of mine, one the dogs sense because the moment I decide that I need them to come inside before an entire tree falls and impales and squishes them... they decide to ignore me and play. Oh yeah, there I am, screaming for them to come into the house the very second, you get in here, come here, come here!!! They are laughing at me and chasing each other around the massive parts of trees that have already fallen. Oh its great fun for them to totally ignore my shrieking and dancing. At one point I ran into the house, got a slice of bread (something they usually can’t resist) and was shrieking, dancing, and waving a slice of bread.

I’m sure that our neighbors feel we could possibly be mentally disturbed and perhaps a tad bit dangerous from our strange yard rituals:

chasing a dog that caught an adult squirrel around the yard while wearing a robe and rubber boots

chasing a dog that caught a mole, who then passes it to another dog, and then over to another dog like precision soccer players, while wearing a robe and rubber boots.

Standing in the yard in a robe and no boots screaming “DON’T EAT THE POOP”

Kneeling in the yard wearing a robe, rubber boots and rubber gloves while sifting through poop to see if the (insert strange item here) has passed safely through the digestive tract.

So, I’m guessing that the shrieking, frantic neighbor waving a slice of bread is just another day in wackytown.

They did eventually come in, one at a time, laughing at me and getting their bread treat. Now I let them out one at a time, and this makes them very angry.

The wind is suppose to be dying down soon. Soon isn’t soon enough for me.

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