Sunday, December 30, 2007

2007 In Review

Personally, 2007 couldn’t suck enough. I’m trying to be optimistic about 2008, but we’re looking at the same people in office, the same wars and maybe even some new ones, taxes... oh joy can’t wait, and generally another year of slogging through the job I hate, with people I can’t stand, among other things.

I remember as a kid that New Year stood for a year where anything could be possible. It was a fresh start and anything was up for grabs. Back then I couldn’t understand why adults partied hard, got trashed on alcohol and woke up feeling horrible the next day. To my undeveloped mind, I couldn’t fathom how being hung over would be a good way to get the jump on all things possible of the new year.

Yeah, now I know. I’m an adult now. I see how bleak and daunting a new year is after suffering through the old one. Knowing that life isn’t a fairy tale or a movie, a new year only means more of the same, except one more year of it, one more year of suffering. There will be no prince charming coming to sweep us up and plop us in a rent or mortgage free castle where we fritter the day away dancing and being waited on hand and foot in the lap of luxury. Nope, none of that. We won’t win the lottery, not unless we’re really old and have a house full of cats. We won’t get a last minute phone call that saves the house from foreclosure, pays off all the bills and gets gifts for all the kids who went without for christmas (mainly because we don’t have kids, the house isn’t about to be foreclosed, etc. but you know what I mean).

Nope, what we face in 2008 is the simplicity of life.

Tax time is right around the corner, that’s something to really look forward to.

Going back to work on 2 January 2008 and realizing that nothing has changed, it still sucks... when is the next holiday?

Cleaning house, paying bills, fixing dinner, doing laundry... same as it ever was.

As an adult, you realize that this is it. This is all that there is of life. Its a wonder there aren’t more suicides on New Year’s Eve.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Jonesing for some latte

I’m addicted, I admit it, the Starbucks empire has me.

I recently quit smoking, I’m using the Chantix pill and despite the horror warnings of people killing loved ones, or throwing themselves off buildings, the only side effect I’ve really had is bloating and horrible gas. Ok, I also have the vivid dreams and last night I was David Letterman’s only audience member because he was coming back from the strike and had no material, so we hung out for a while in some fancy apartment. He also offered me a job because apparently he also owns large government consulting firms. Hey, its much better than the dream where our neighbors stole our fence and I woke up totally pissed at the neighbors.

Having given up smoking (kicking and screaming) I now find that I have to get a new habit. Its common for recovering alcoholics to start smoking. I’m guessing that since alcohol would only increase the need to light up, most former smokers take to chugging vast amounts of coffee. Well, I can’t exactly say “most former smokers” because I haven’t paid some consulting firm a zillion dollars to actually prove that, but I’ll be generous and save the taxpayers some money and go out on a limb and say it. If a former smoker is not a coffee drinker and wants to sue me for misrepresenting them, then have fun with that. Don’t expect the mother lode of settlement pay-offs, as all of my money is going to Starbucks.

My dear husband is not only supplementing his former smoking bad habit by drinking vast amounts of latte with me, but he’s also hopelessly addicted to World of Warcraft (as apparently 9 million other people are to, so I can go out on a limb and say that the majority of people hate their lives and prefer to live in pretend-land). His addiction to WoW is what has me jonesing for latte at the moment. You see, he stays up all night on the weekends to play, then sleeps all day. He just got up around 3 p.m. today. I’ve been sitting here, patiently waiting for him to wake up, sipping unsatisfying coffee, all dressed, shoes on, sitting, tapping a foot, wanting a latte.

Ok fine, I’m an adult, I have a driver’s license and a real vehicle, I should have gone out hours ago and sucked down at least 2 lattes while he slept. I have no idea why that thought didn’t occur to me hours ago. Maybe I’ll go get some new bathroom rugs while I’m out.