Saturday, May 12, 2007

Help Me Save The World

Live Earth?

I thought it was a joke when I read something about Bob Geldof scoffing at Al Gore’s organizing of a global concert to save the earth... LIVE EARTH!

Apparently venues all over the world will be having a 24 hour concert that will raise money to save the earth. Who, exactly, is getting the money? Well, that’s not really clear on the official “Live Earth” Web site, but apparently Al Gore and some of his environmental cronies will be leading some kind of “task force” on saving the earth with the dough raised during this thing. Nothing too specific like “we’ll use the money to plant trees all over the place”, but something more vague like “we’ll study...”. Oh yeah, studies are great, you sit in a coffee shop and you chat about global warming and then accept your zillions of consulting fees, go home to your energy sucking mansion and laugh when you go to bed.

Their Web site also mentions that “Each venue will not only be designed to maintain a minimum environmental impact, but will showcase the latest state-of-the-art energy efficiency, on-site power generation, and sustainable facilities management practices.” So, they won’t be using massive lights that require gigawatts of power, or all of the band equipment that requires... electricity. They won’t expect anyone to drive their gas guzzling, choking the environment vehicles to this thing, I’m guessing the audience will be transported to the venue. I’m also pleased to say that instead of private jets to get to the venues, the bands will be walking to their venues, roadies pulling carts of their gear behind them.

Where is all of this money going, why are these people jetting across the country telling everyone else they can’t, and who are they to ask for our money to “solve” this problem without even telling us where the money is going to.

Here’s a thought! I’ll do anything to help save this earth, and the first place to start would be to give me a huge heap of cash so I don’t have to drive my car to work, drain the world of electricity on my computer and the lights in the building.

I’m starting a new fund-raiser and its “pay me to stay home so I can do my part to save the earth”. Send me some money, and once I get enough where I can pay my bills and mortgage, I’ll quit my job and make that ultimate sacrifice for the good of the earth. Start sending me your cash and I’ll keep everyone updated on all of the things I didn’t do that will end up saving the world my own little piece at a time.

Come on! Send me money because if you don’t, then you are responsible for the whole world DYING!

Friday, May 11, 2007


Today was a total “me” day. After having minor hand surgery and being out of work for two glorious weeks, its time to go back to work. I decided to pamper myself with an expensive hair cut, as I had let the hair go long for almost a year and was sick and tired of dealing with it.

As usual, in my excitement, I left WAY too early for my appointment, so I stopped in for a delicious Iced Mocha (venti, 3 pumps), did some window shopping, and with more time to waste, found a lovely little pond with a fountain and sat on a bench soaking in the beautiful day.

This pond had ducks and geese. The ducks seemed convinced that I had something for them to eat and began to gather around me, looking somewhat menacing. I guarded my iced mocha and explained a few times that I normally didn’t walk around with tasty bread crumbs for ducks. They seemed mad but satisfied that I wasn’t holding out on them and went about their ducky ways.

The geese aren’t beggars and kept their distance. So majestic, so graceful. I watched a pair in the water swimming circles together and then noticed they seemed to be playing a funny game. One would dip their head in the water, then the other. Back and forth, faster and faster. I wondered if it was some goose game to see who would puke first or something. I chuckled at the thought until one goose jumped on top of the other goose, and I realized that the “game” was actually goose foreplay. I averted my eyes to give them some privacy, I mean I wouldn’t want geese watching me while I caught a piece of action, even though I don’t normally do that in a public pond or anything like that.

After they were done, the male did a kind of victory dance that included stretching his neck and flapping his wings while his water logged girlfriend looked a bit miffed. I guess geese have to do a victory dance, as just rolling over and falling asleep would result in drowning. He swam off, climbed ashore and plopped down under the shade of a tree and dozed instead, leaving his girlfriend to primp and preen herself after the dunking. I guess some things are the same no matter what the species.

The hair cut came out really cool, by the way.