Friday, September 30, 2005

Mall Spammers

Every friday hubby and I go to the local mall, get a starbucks and walk around for a bit of leg stretching and window shopping. Gets us out of the house and we vent about the week's woe at work.

More and more the kiosk operators are getting quite brazen with their sales techniques. It hasn't gotten as bad as the old days where walking through the perfume department got you sprayed by 15 different people wanting to sell their nasty products, but its getting there. I feel like that AOL anti-spam commercial at times (and they probably got that idea from walking through a mall).

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" You already did, and if I wanted a hunk of fake hair I would have walked up and asked to buy one.

No, I don't want my cheap ring cleaned, if it gets dirty I'll throw it away and buy another one.

I don't want you to rip my scalp off with the octopus relaxer thing that you probably used on someone's lice ridden head.

My cuticles are just fine thanks, I don't want to slather myself in your stinky hand lotion.

I already have a cell phone, and no I don't want to upgrade and switch providers.

I don't want to take a survey and you probably don't want to hear what I have to say anyway.

Sea salt for my feet? Don't think so.

Microwave hot pack, no.

I don't have kids and I don't need a radio controlled car toy.

Got a deck, don't need new windows, don't want an enclosed porch, get out of my face.

Its now to the point where I look them in the eye with that "don't even ask" look and dare them to approach me. If they do, I yell NOOOOO!

I just want to walk through the mall, sipping my latte or iced mocha, and not be bothered... is that too much to ask?

3 comments:

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