Friday, March 25, 2005

Helpful Huskies

Since most of our foundation has washed away due to the ever diligent digging of the herd, I decided (what was I thinking) that I should take the large pile of dirt that was once our foundation but was now sitting at the back of our yard, and haul it back up to the house.

Step 1: Get out the wheelbarrow. Notice (after shoveling dirt into wheelbarrow) that tire is completely flat. Note to those not in the know: tires are VERY important on wheelbarrows.

Step 2: Abandon wheelbarrow, try dragging dirt on tarp. Note to those not in the know: when you have three huskies, they will think its really funny to jump on the tarp and catch a ride with the dirt. Three huskies = 150 lbs. They will then decide to fight over who gets to sit on the tarp and not move.

Step 3: Abandon tarp, shop online for wheelbarrow wheels. Note to those not in the know: wheelbarrow wheels cost as much as the freakin wheelbarrow. Decide on getting new plastic 2-wheeled cart thing instead of wheelbarrow.

Step 4: Go get the new wheelbarrow. Note to those not in the know: if Lowes says its in stock, odds are it isn't. Opt to buy wheelbarrow wheel similar to the one that went flat, as the flatless ones that fit my wheelbarrow were not in stock.

Step 5: Put new wheel on wheelbarrow. Not to those not in the know: it was easy and it actually fit.

Step 6: Realize that 500 lbs of dirt compacts to nothing, but sucks the life blood from you. Turn around after load #568 to discover huskies digging a huge hole in the dirt I just dumped out. Now I have no dirt near the foundation, and three very muddy huskies.

Step 7: Hire someone to put top soil in.

While I was at Lowes, I decided to get some stainless steel cleaner, as our stainless steel fridge looked like a horror show. Apparently stainless steel requires "special" cleaners. I would think that all of those DeLorean owners would have come up with a better cleaner by now. I find the product, called "Stainless Steel Magic" and grab a bottle. With a name like that, I would expect that its a simple matter of spray and wipe.

As I stood in line (apparently Good Friday is the day to buy home improvement supplies), I read the directions, that went something like this:

1.) Remove all food from your house, store it in a concrete bunker miles away.
2.) Don the protective suit (sold separately), and respirator
3.) Unplug your appliance and make sure it's cool to the touch as product is highly flammable.
4.) Spray product on appliance and run like hell, dialing 911 as you dash and scream like a little girl.
5.) For God's sake don't touch anything!
6.) Wipe with a cloth that has no sentimental value, as the product will cause the cloth to disintegrate in your gloved hand.
7.) Don't touch the appliance for 10 years.
8.) Eat out, or prepare foods in someone else's home for the next millenium.

I got out of line, put it back on the shelf (gently, as to not set off a horrible chain reaction), and bought some Simple Green... I really don't know why, but it seemed safe and friendly.

When I got home and relayed the story to my friend, she suggested that I wipe down the fridge with olive oil, as apparently this was a suggestion she had read in a magazine.

So, after scraping off the dried gunk, that's what I did... and it works!

Of course, I can't keep the dogs from licking the fridge, but where they can't reach is nice and shiny.

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