Sunday, August 22, 2004

Stop the Monkeys (and other woodland creatures)

Ok, so we have a possum that vacations in our recycle bin (I've since named him Clyde), and little bunny rabbits that dart across the street every morning when we go to work (Friday, one of these bunnies sadly didn't make it across the road... no, I didn't hit it, it was dead when I passed), and the other day, Loki (mutant pawed wonder puppy) decided to show me just what is lurking in my very own back yard.

It's dark, he's out there shaking his head and prancing around, which is the international husky sign that he's found something cool to play with, and it's not a squeeky toy. Armed with a flashlight, I investigate and find... a snake! EUUUUUWW. Loki backs off when told and throws up his dinner. Now I'm really freaking because what if he threw it up because said snake is poisonous?

It's about a foot long, and oogie snake-like, and STILL ALIVE!! AAAAAAAAAH! I check it over, and it looks like a garter snake, doesn't have a rattle on the tail, doesn't seem very poisonous, so I attribute the throwing up to just general doggie excitement. I picked it up (cursing that once again I neglected to put on the rubber gloves I bought for just these occassions), and the snake's tongue starts darting out and it's bleeding from a lovely puncture wound on the head. Carried it over to the fence of bones (where all dead and dying get tossed) and heave it over with that chilled goosebumpy feeling of ick.

After herding Loki back inside (he's looking for more snakes to play with), I consult the Internet. I LOVE the Internet, as it affords me the ability to look up things immediately, instead of freaking out and making whacky calls to people in the middle of the night trying to find out just what does a poisonous Maryland snake look like. It has pictures of snakes and facts on snakes, and to my relief, there are only two types of poisonous snakes in the whole state, and one of those only lives in the mountains (like you can call those hills in Maryland mountains. Washington state has MOUNTAINS, Maryland and Pennsylvania have big hills... when was the last time you heard of someone becoming trapped on a Maryland "mountain" and needing a helicopter to rescue them... but I digress).

I found this great Web site:

Wildlife & Heritage Service - All About Snakes in Maryland

It lists all poisonous snakes in Maryland, and even pictures. I google searched for more pictures to be sure, but apparently Loki had come across either a rat snake or garter snake, neither of them are dangerous, unless you are a rat or garter.

Last night all of the dogs were VERY interested in something that was in the neighbor's yard, peering through the fence and refusing to leave. I have no idea what it was, don't want to know what it was, and I hope it doesn't decide to come in the back yard because I'm running low on rubber gloves and the bone pile is growing.

WAH! Make them stop!

So, Senator John Kerry didn't have too much to say when 527 groups were slamming President Bush in ads, but now that the tables are turned, he's crying foul, pointing fingers, and doing nothing much to discredit these ads except to say that the Bush campaign is in on it.

CNN.com - Bush adviser quits after appearing in swift boat ad - Aug 21, 2004

Is this how he'll run our country? When terrorists are bombing our cities and killing our people, will John Kerry step up and whine "Stop it, it's not fair!"

I don't know if he got his awards fairly. I've spent time in the military, I know how things are spun to make them seem more dramatic, more heroic. It happens all the time, and I doubt Kerry is the first to get an award the easy way, when others lost limbs or lives for a medal. He spent a whopping 4 months in Viet Nam, where others served longer, lost more.

Ok, he was over there, he won medals, big deal. Winning medals and serving in combat does NOT make a President. If that were the case, there are millions of qualified people to be President. What makes a President is a good leader. Someone that can lead the people with concise and decisive actions and decisions. I've been trying to figure out what Kerry's platform is since he started running. "I'm going to create more jobs, cut the taxes, do this and do that..." BUT HOW? It's nice he's saying all these things, BUT HOW IS HE GOING TO DO IT? Nobody seems to know, or isn't telling. Am I going to vote for him and wait for the rabbit to get pulled out of a hat and hope he makes good on all these promises? HELL NO! I've been promised to death by other candidates who never produced that rabbit. I want someone who says what they mean, and does it. I'm tired of being lied to, and with all this hoopla over his "war" record, and with him doing nothing but whining and telling the bullies to stop picking on him, I doubt I'll be picking his name out when I'm standing in that ballot box. I actually have no idea who I'm going to vote for at this time, but I do know one person I won't be voting for.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Update on Katie.com

As of 6 August 2004, Penguin (choad publisher of kiddie books) has finally realized that they can't win with all of the tech world breathing down their throats, and has agreed to rename the book "katie.com" to something equally tasteless, but gripping.

Congratulations Katie Jones for winning one for us little folk.

For those who want to let Katie Jones know of their support:
www.katie.com

For those who still think Katie Tarbox is a manipulative weasel:
www.katiet.com

Sunday, August 08, 2004

General Ramblings

When I was growing up, only poor people ate Hamburger Helper, or Ravioli out of a can. Granted, we were not rich by any means, something I discovered when I grew up and went back to the house where I grew up (I lived in this tiny little dump?). It was more a state of mind. My mom stayed at home and cared for my sister and I until I reached high school, and every meal was created from scratch. Less caring moms popped open a can and oozed out Ravioli, where my mom mixed the noodle ingrediants, hand rolled the dough, created the filling and did it all.

I've discovered that Hamburger Helper isn't entirely nasty, and when I'm feeling particularly lazy and don't want to cook, it's quick and filling (after a few rolaids)

Shake -n- Bake is the thing of Gods though. I'm a complete failure when it comes to cooking anything breaded. My concoctions end up this slimey floury goo that leaves itself adhered to one side of the pan. Then, I found Shake-n-Bake and my life was turned around. I bread everything now, because I can.

What the fuck is wrong with the world lately?
Some moron gets pissed off that someone MAY have stolen his precious X-box and designer sneakers or something, and gets three teenagers to go over to some house (where he suspects the culprit is), breaks in, and they proceed to beat 6 people, and one dog to death with aluminum baseball bats... FOR AN X-BOX!!!!!!!

CNN.com - Sheriff: 4 charged in Florida killings over Xbox - Aug 8, 2004

Since this "caring" 27 year old moron has a history of criminal activity, it was probably an X-box he stole from someone else.
I'm just glad he did it in Florida, a state that gladly executes just about anyone, and in a timely manner. I hope someone gets to him first in prison and beats his head in with a ball bat, because that's what he certainly deserves (then steals his prison shoes).

Monday, August 02, 2004

He's BAAAAACK!

This morning we took the trash out, and there, in the recycle bin... is the baby possum.
I have no idea why he finds our trash bin so comfy. There is some stinky rag in there from his last visit, possibly his security blankie or something, and that's what brought him back. We have yet to figure out how he crawls in there, or if he's capable of crawling out on his own. For all we know he's been sleeping there every night and we just haven't noticed him, or possibly, he slept in this morning and got caught.

He is kinda cute, but I can't have possums moving into my recycle bin. What if he tells other possums what fantastic digs he's found and we have a whole possum invasion. Next thing you know he'll be wanting to build an addition to the recycling bin, perhaps dig a pool, want us to fix up the place for him. We just can't have squatter possums demanding things from us.

I'm torn with carrying his little butt down the road to the forest and letting him go there. What if mamma possum actually put him there. She comes home from a hard day of shopping and junior isn't in his recycle bin. Will we have an irate mamma possum coming after us? Hoardes of search possums combing the yard? Possum helicopters hovering overhead?

I read on a Web site that they are transient and don't stay in one place too long, but what if this recycle bin thing is just a dream home come true and he decides to stay here? I guess I'm going to have to do something about this. Keep the recycle bins turned upside down, but I imagine that he may move in under the tarp that covers the motorcycle (that hasn't worked in 17 years, why we keep it is beyond me).

Why us?