Saturday, March 13, 2004

Obesity: The New Smoking

I heard on the news the other day that obesity was quickly overtaking smoking as the #1 killer.

Good!

I'm a smoker, have been for a zillion years. I've smoked when I could smoke in buildings, in my office, in public places, and I've slowly been forced out, like a leper, to smoke in the cold, rain, snow, spat upon by ritious non-smokers who walk to their cars and spew noxious chemicals in the air.

Now that obesity is taking over as that nasty killer of people, I have to wonder... could these obese people be those poor ex-smokers who were shamed and guilted to quit and must now shove 14 cheeseburgers down their throat to get over the jones for a smoke?

Now that obesity is taking over as the scourge of health, will we see people being forced outside to eat? After all, the aroma of that cheeseburger could cause your co-workers to crave, thus spinning them horribly out of control on their way to the killer obesity. Will there be designated "eating" areas? Will cooking only be allowed in certain areas? Will lawsuits pop up because Burger King's "food emmisions" caused hundreds of people to get coronary disease?

What will the government do to save us from this horrible "disease". We've already been inundated by the "Atkins" commercials. It use to be low fat, low sugar and now it's low carb. Next it'll be "low everything" until we eat and eat and eat and still die of starvation. It's the end of "super-sizing" and "biggie size" and all those obnoxious terms for gourge yourself to death. I'm happy those are going. If I had wanted a barrel of fries I would have asked for it.

"Tofu barn, would you like to try our mini-size portion tofu burger with 0 calories, 0 fat, 0 carbs, and 0 taste?"

The next time someone at work cooks something smelly in the microwave, I'm going to accuse them of killing me with second hand aroma.

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